I moved from a town with a population of 25,000 to a college of 30,000 students. At first, the transition from high school to college wasn’t as intimidating as I thought. Most of my hometown friends have grown up in a place where they made their best friend in kindergarten and the most interesting thing to do is go to Sheetz. There’s little diversity or change and it’s highly unlikely to meet someone who knows where my county is.

A lot of my friends went to colleges that were at least five times the size of our high school or ones that were out of state, and a few decided to not go to college. We were all eager to get out of the town where everyone knew everyone’s business, but I don’t think we were prepared for the type of culture we were stepping into. I asked some of my friends who I graduated with how their lives have been after high school, the important things they have learned, and how those experiences have shaped them. Here’s how they answered:

1. “You shouldn’t be too attached to the first few friends that you meet in college.”

“When you’re in high school, you’ve known everyone for an extended amount of time. You’ve grown up with them, so you know them on a personal level. When you go to college, everyone’s initial attitude is perceived differently than what they are. Everyone is putting on their best face when they meet everyone in college because they want to make a good impression. People change based on the situations and people around them. Never trust your first impression on people because it’s never 100% valid.” – CJ (James Madison University)

2. “Sometimes your life turns 180 degrees and you have to deal with it.”

“You have to react to it and it’s that reaction that determines the outcome as the result. I learned more about myself. You know, academics aren’t the only thing you have to worry about. Instead, you must begin to take control of every aspect of your life, from eating every day to having a balance of fun and work. Being out of state maximized how independent I had to be. I had to understand what I was capable of. One big thing was sleep; I would tend to go to bed at 3 in the morning and get up at 8. Eventually, I got sick because I wasn’t taking care of my body.” – DT (University of South Carolina)

3. “Remember, just because you get along with everyone, doesn’t mean everyone else gets along with everyone.”

“I have a lot of friends, but some of my friends aren’t big fans of my other friends, so it can be awkward. You can’t really do anything about it, people have their own unique personalities and you can’t expect them to all get along. You can’t force friendships that don’t mix, but you also don’t have to give them up because of drama like in high school.” – AL (Randolph Macon College)

4. “People that want and are meant to be in your life will be, no matter the circumstances.”

“I’ve learned this through the people that stay in touch and the people around me that constantly see me through good and bad times. Also, don’t drink 3 Long Island ice teas and chug a Yuengling after.” – BA (University of Mary Washington)

5. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

“Even if you might sound stupid, you’ll see that someone else may be just as lost as you are. I couldn’t figure out how to order at the sandwich line and I eventually asked this one girl. She was just as confused as I was so we went up together and figured it out.” – RS (Christopher Newport University)

6. “Even the most decorated, highest ranking, or successful people are pretty normal.”

“I forget sometimes that I go to a school with so much prestige because while everyone may have incredible talents or have high intellects, they’re still just human. There is still a lot of procrastination, a lack of common sense, etc. Going from top of my class to a student at a top university recalibrated the expectations, pressures, and goals I have for myself. Previously, my focus was on excelling academically because being at the top of my class seemed achievable and honorable. Now, I have a greater appreciation for my education as a whole and my new focus is on learning and absorbing as much as possible from the world-class resources, rather than perfecting my GPA.” – LH (Yale University)

7. “If you decide to party, don’t party during the week if you have class in the morning.”

“You won’t wake up for it no matter how many times you convince yourself you will. If you were a night owl and think you can wake up for a 9 am because in high school you woke up at 6 am, I’m going to warn you not to sign up for anything earlier than 10:30. They are not fun if you can even wake up for that class.” – AM (George Mason University)

8. “I’ve learned to forgive others and myself.”

“Being more compassionate towards others and ignoring the hatred of others. Loving yourself is one of the hardest lessons I have learned and going after what you want is one of the most satisfying things you can do whether it turns out negatively or positively.” – SM (Enlisting in the Air Force)

9. “Capitalism is the root of everything.”

“The way that American culture pushes this narrative of working to work to retire to die is so… vulgar. I know it sounds like some hippie liberal college stuff, but seriously, look around you and ask what values are shaping your life. What are you working or working towards?” – AP (New York University)

10. “I’ve learned to be myself and accept who I am because no one really cares who and what you are in college.”

“I remember the first time I didn’t wear any makeup, I was so self-conscious, and I thought people were going to look at me and judge, but they didn’t. No one really acknowledged it.” – DR (Virginia Commonwealth University)