Almost four years ago when I went off to college, I had the best intentions of staying close friends with all my friends from high school. With moving to a new place and meeting new people, that inevitably changed and I have lost touch with many friends from high school with no one to blame. No giant fight happened, no big betrayal. Simply moving different ways in life causes people to drift.
When you go to college you realize that some of the the people you called friends in high school are no longer ones you see yourself being lifetime friends with anymore. From countless conversations with friends and peers throughout college I have come to realize that this is a common phenomenon. It’s this time of year, the holidays, that reminds me of this trend as all you hear from your college friends is how they have “no one to hang out with at home” or just plan to see their five remaining friends from high school. While I have conducted no sociological or psychological study on this subject, I do have a pretty good idea as to why this happens.
College is a time full of new experiences. This means that you are realizing who you truly are and maybe also noticing that what you were like in high school may not completely match who you are now. While there may have been no giant change in who you are, trust me you have transformed in someway.
In college, you made friends with people who shared large commonalities, like choosing the same college, instead of friends that were maybe acts of convenience, such as being in Physics class together. You have probably gone to school with the same people for more than just the four years of high school, so it would make sense if they all remained your closest friends right? If you really think about it, you knew some of these friends when you were in junior high or middle school. Take a second and process that. Is anyone really like the person they were in 7th and 8th grade? I highly doubt it as I have a theory that between ages 12 through 14 you are at your worst, but that’s a theory for another day.
The main thing that this comes down to is change. Your life has changed. Your personality has developed. You have found new interests. You realized that simply going to the same school and living in the same town does not create enough of a bond to be lifetime friends.
While you and your high school friends may have changed it doesn’t mean you won’t stay friends with them and see each other. It just may mean that you aren’t the same friends you were in high school. No matter how many friends you have stayed in touch with from high school remember you still share a part of your life with them, just maybe not the more significant parts of your life like you thought you would. This holiday break, reach out to some of those friends you haven’t seen in months because there’s nothing like seeing people who know what it’s like growing up in your hometown, whether that's for better or for worse.
