I thought I was immune to homesickness. In fact, I prided myself in being a "tough girl" who was not affected by the notorious homesick blues. When I went to sleep-away camp as a child, I never longed to be home or cried because I missed my parents like the other kids did. This mindset influenced my college decision choice. I did not take into consideration how being several hours and hundreds of miles away from home would affect me. I thought I would be absolutely fine, and I was, until second semester.

During the first semester of college, everyone was friendly and everything was an exciting new experience. I was energized with positivity and happiness surrounding myself with uplifting and optimistic people. I was so happy and so busy that I didn't have time to think about my old life. As the first semester was coming to an end, I was actually dreading the thought of going home and being away from my amazing friends at college.

My dread of being home was eventually replaced with the dread of coming back to college. At home, I was reminded of how simple and amazing my old life used to be. I was looking at my hometown through a pair of nostalgic lenses, emphasizing my favorable memories while blurring out my more negative ones. I met up with my high school friends, having effortless conversations, reminiscing about high school and talking about our different college lives. Our old friends understand our past and our present and accept us as who we are, not who we’re trying to convince others that we are. I felt like I was back at a place that fully accepted me for who I was. A place that understood me, and I understood it. For lack of better words, I felt at home, and that was an amazing feeling to have again.

When I went back to college, it seemed like I could not escape the homesickness so easily. I felt like it was constantly creeping up behind me, waiting to attack. I wanted to be with my high school friends in a town that I felt I truly belonged in. My college was still exciting, and I still loved my friends, but I felt like a piece of my heart was missing. I counted down the days until spring break, wanting to go home so badly.

After going home for spring break, and loving every second of it, I finally understood why homesickness affected me during my second semester, instead of my first.

I realized that it is just easier to be home.

During break, there aren’t the same responsibilities of college, so it's easy to confuse the ease of break with a relief of being home. Vacation paints a smooth and idealistic picture of our hometown. We relax in our childhood bedrooms that contain memories and secrets within its four walls. We are able to go take full advantage of our town, going to our favorite restaurants and shops. We see our old friends that remind us of the glory days in high school and who can make us laugh until our stomach hurts. Life seems perfect because we are only reminded of the positive memories associated with home. Home seems like a fairytale, it’s no wonder why homesickness came to me after break.

I was able to compare and contrast my old, home-town life to my new, fast-paced college life. At home, I felt more comfortable and relaxed, whereas at college I am constantly on-the-go and stressed. We are established at home, where at college we are trying to fit in and make a reputation for ourselves. After being home for the first couple times, it is reinforced that we will feel better, therefore, we want to be back at home in order achieve the ultimate relaxation and fulfillment.

Being away from home is hard, and it is okay to be homesick, but that does not mean I do not belong at school. I have to reach out to my astounding friends, go on spontaneous adventures, and utilize my beautiful campus. Making new, amazing memories at college will help associate positive feelings with my wonderful school. I need put the past behind me, and try to be 100 percent in the moment. I do not want to regret wasting my college years wishing that I could time-travel back to my high school days. Home is always going to be permanent, but a college experience is temporary.