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Coping with Homesickness

The freshman fifteen and the dangers of alcohol aren't the only things they should warn you about.

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Coping with Homesickness
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When moving into college, most family members and friends like to warn you about the freshman fifteen and about the dangers of alcohol. While both of these things are real and can change your life drastically (depending on if you heed advice or ignore it), I find that one subject that is not often breached by these well-wishers is homesickness.

Think about it: You've just moved away, into a new city or a new state, and probably know approximately two other people at your school, or less. Your start off and it's exciting because you're away, because you're meeting new people and you don't have to be home by eleven when it's a school night. But, after a few days or weeks, it gets old. Not having mom call to ask where you are, or petting your dog after a long day, or even being able to come home and lay down in the bed you've slept on since you were six can be a real drain on your emotional energy. You start to miss the smell of the laundry in your own laundry room; the Tide Pods' sticky, sickly sweet smell aren't anything compared to real fabric softener and a machine that doesn't fray the seams of your favorite shirt. You miss the way the sunlight comes in the window in the kitchen (wasn't it nice back when you had a kitchen?)

So, what now? it's not like summer camp where you can just stick it out for a few more days, or just until the end of next week and you're back to home cooked meals and your high school friends. You probably have a few months of living at school left before moving home for a break, then it's back again to the dorms. So, what will you do? What can you do?

Firstly, remember that you are not alone. I know, it sounds a little cheesy and even more like the opposite of the advice you need to hear, but it's true. Almost every other person in your hall, in your building, in you class, is feeling the same way you are right now. Transitioning to living away from everything you're used to is hard! Most people get homesick in one way or another; break the barrier and start a conversation about it. I promise no one will think you're whining. Just mention when it's truthful and when you're with people you trust, or at least get along well with, that you're really missing home right now. I bet at least one of them will agree immediately. Just talking about the nostalgia can help alleviate it, and you can really strengthen a friendship this way.

Secondly, get involved. Nothing is worse than sitting in your room alone when you already feel unhappy about being away from family and friends. Do your best to get out and get involved, or even just getting out. Join a student organization, club, or team. Or, if you're one of those people who doesn't like to commit to one thing, spend time in the community spaces on campus and in your residence hall-- I made my best friends by sitting out in the community lounge doing homework. You meet people just by being around. You could get a job as well! Sometimes all it takes is staying busy and keeping yourself distracted and occupied.

Next, try to make a new home where you are. Aside from making friends and creating a support system (which is so important!), I recommend making your dorm room as cozy as possible. It can be really depressing to come home to white, cinder block walls every day and seeing only the florescent light on the ceiling. I'm not saying you need to hop on Pintrest and have the coolest room ever, but hanging up a few posters and having a plant could really help in adjusting to the fact that this room is not temporary: you're going to live there for the next year. Aside from physical comforts, try to set up a regular routine as well. Part of the homesickness that you feel can be from the lack of normalcy in your life from day to day. Plan out when classes are and when homework time is, try to get to bed at regular hours-- not necessarily ten every night, but please don't try 11:00, 2:30, 9:00, 11:00, 1:30: it doesn't work well. Once you feel like you've gotten into the swing of things, the strangeness of living in a new place may start to fade away.

Lastly, if you're really having trouble adjusting, remember the resources that are available to you. Schools have counseling centers and people to talk to who, believe it or not, have lots of experience talking about homesickness. Seek out your local religious leader as well, if you're into that sort of thing. Spirituality can be a wonderful outlet for understanding emotions as complicated as homesickness can be. Talk to your RA! That's what they're there for. And, as always, call your mom (or dad, or grandma, or papa, or whoever you miss). We live in an age where communication is not limited to the landline at the end of your hall, as my family likes to remind me. Even just sending a text can make their day, make your day, and help you feel a little better.

To conclude: homesickness is a valid feeling, and you have every right to feel this way as you are opening new chapters in your life. Know the ways that help you deal with this, but take the advice that others can give you (including me), and try to breathe your way through it. It's all going to be okay! You can do it!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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