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Politics and Activism

New Homesick Candle Ideas

For when you're homesick, but not a complete idiot.

Stephanie Racca

Dec 26, 2016

Worcester Polytechnic Institute

Homesick Candles

Recently, I came across the idea of Homesick candles, a candle brand that touts different scents based on the signature smells of the different states. Well I believe that they are all incorrect. So here is my interpretation of the scents of some of the states.

Alabama

Backwater hillbillies.

Alaska

Wet moose and Sarah Palin.

California

Drought.

Colarado

Weed, obvs.

Delaware

Not giving a fuck about Deleware.

Florida

Old people and pure insanity.

Hawaii

Casually racist tourists.

Idaho

Potatoes and settling for things.

Maine

Lobster in the sun.

Maryland

Crab in the sun.

Massachusetts

Liberal politics.

Michigan

What's lurking under the lakes.

Nebraska

Flatness.

New Jersey

Being inferior to New York. Also My Chemical Romance, for some fucking reason.

New York

White privilege.

Rhode Island

Never shutting the fuck up about the fact you're from Rhode Island.

Texas

Republicans.

Utah

Mormons.

Wisconsin

Cheese?

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New Homesick Candle Ideas

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

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14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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