My Darling Homegirl,
Not many people have it quite like we do. I mean, not to brag entirely, but our friendship and unity is so rare and entirely custom-built. No one can quite understand me like you can. From hundreds of miles apart to snuggling up in that tiny twin bed, I couldn’t be more at home knowing that you are always in my heart. I adore how you cherish and care for others, always seeking to build them up, and willing to invite them in. You love hard, and you are all in when you commit. That is part of what has made us who we are today. Although, over the years, I have shown and learned that I am sub-par on the commitment course, you have stuck with me through thick and thin. Never have you once questioned leaving me, even when there were times I kept you at an arm’s length. You know exactly how it feels to be alone and left for something seemingly better, and therefore, you would never impose that on another.
We go together. You could say “like Mac and Cheese,” or “like bacon and eggs,” or “like peanut butter and bananas.” But I say we go together “like Courtney Paige and Hannah Joy.” That’s my favorite combination. Your qualities are so complimentary to my own. You mellow out my energy. You help bring logic to my spontaneity. You give gifts of time when I need someone to hold me and listen. And my qualities, in turn, balance yours. My joy brightens your sad days, my crazy ideas get you off your feet as you develop a plan for our adventures, my desire to include others feeds your fear of being excluded and alone.
I wouldn’t be writing honestly if I didn’t admit that, at times, we have wanted contrasting things in life. These times have been strenuous and difficult, but ultimately have helped us manage a healthy balance of grace and honesty in friendship. I know that is what many people strive for, but I think, after 10 years, we are blessed enough to be able to say that we know when we’ve said too much, and when there’s still something left unspoken that needs to come out. I appreciate how we can be honest and gentle amidst our differences, and how we always come out loving each other more than we did the day before.
The other day, at the tanning salon, I was signing in and a woman asked me about the tattoo on my right arm. Not surprised, (you know how many people always are asking for a reason why either of us have a house permanently tattooed on our arm) I explained that my best friend of 10 years and I had desired to get a non-cliche tattoo that symbolized the depth of our friendship. I described how we have always felt safe and at home with each other, and that I know wherever you are, my home is also. I made sure she knew the slightly cheesy part about when we hug, the little houses on the right sides of our bodies connect to the left side of our bodies where our hearts are chambered, therefore following the saying “home is where the heart is.” She unexpectedly began to tear up, and over the next 20 minutes, she delineated the history she’d had recently with her best friend of 15 years. My heart was saddened to hear the trouble they were having, and the hurt that she was depicting through telling me about her best friend. She asked my advice, wondering what I would have to say in response to all of her mess. I simply told her, that honesty paired with grace is a beautiful combination. I asked her if she believed in God, and when she said “of course,” I encouraged her to ask the Lord to help her forgive her best friend, and to help ease the bitterness she had harbored in her heart. I had the chance to pray for her before I left, and I was astonished at how receptive she was, hugging my neck tightly as I headed out.
It made me think about how grateful I am to have you in my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend, someone suited just for me. God sure knew what he was doing when he let our paths cross that wonderful winter day all the way back in 2006—long braided hair, buck teeth, lunch time, a cute boy asking me out, me declining, and you inviting me to sit with you right afterwards. Courtney, you are without a doubt a keeper, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I love you.
Love,
Your Homegirl
