Winter break is typically that time in college when college students wants to recuperate from the fall semester and go home to family. They want to spend time with family during the holidays and celebrate the new year.

That’s not the case for me this winter break. I didn’t necessarily go home to my immediate family.

I accepted an editorial internship in New York City for winter break this year, even though it was unpaid. My parents and I were ecstatic. It's my first legit internship, something I could put on my resume and be proud of. However, I live too far away to commute to where I have go to every day but didn’t want to do the internship fully online. So I decided to go live with my grandmother in Long Island. I was home for a little more than 48 hours after my last final was done. I didn’t even get to see my sister come home from her first semester of college, because she was coming home a week after me. The Saturday after I returned home, I went straight down to Long Island.

Although the last time I saw my grandma was at my sister’s high school graduation just seven months ago, I hadn’t been to her house in god knows how long. It’s a small house in Long Beach, located in Nassau County, only a little walk away from the boardwalk. The guest room is all right, with just a pull-out couch substituting for a bed. I can manage it for a month.

My grandma’s a total dog person. I’m living with four dogs right now. But if there’s one thing I’m getting out of this experience of living with my grandma, aside from the ability to play with all of her dogs, it’s a glimpse of what my future is going to look like.

For starters, commuting. Every day I take the train from Long Beach to Penn Station and, luckily, where I work is not even five minutes away. I’ve kinda imagined myself working in New York City and commuting from some town in Long Island every day after I graduate and get my first job. But this has its downsides. For starters, my commute to and from is typically an hour, and that’s not even including any delays or weather trouble yet. Plus, it can be very exhausting to come from “so far away” every day. And don’t even get me started about rush hour and the old trains that feel like they're going to break down every 10 minutes.

Another thing that has me worried is my look. My grandma has convinced me to wear “professional”-looking clothing. Even though where I’m interning is very casual, it’s still good to look good. I feel I have more confidence when I’m wearing something a little “professional.” Between me and her, I feel like my bank account has gone to gutter since I’m learning that the best quality clothing is expensive clothing. Loft. Express. Spending over $100 at every trip to Kohl’s. No longer am I allowed to wear crop tops and body-cons … but I might slip back into it when I return to college. No longer can the discount section at Forever 21 amuse my professional self. I feel like I have enough clothing now -- between where I am, back home, and at college -- to give to an entire civilization.

Not only did I contemplate my fashion, I also contemplated my hair. For the longest time, it was long, thick, and wild. But, a few days ago, I said

goodbye to my lovely long locks and hello to a shorter, more polished hairstyle. Do I miss having long hair? Of course. But after all of these years, I felt it was time for a change.The last thing I’m learning in my time here is responsibility. Not just at my internship, what with showing up from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and writing 3-4 articles a day, but at my grandmother's home as well. I have to make my bed every morning, I have to fold my clothing a certain way, and I'm not allowed to eat food in my room. That’s only the beginning. Eventually, I’m going to be learning how to vacuum and clean toilets. It’s not pleasant, but it’s part of life.

But the responsibility isn't just coming from cleaning at home. It's also coming from my some of my habits. No longer can Mini Muffins count as a balanced breakfast and I can't afford to buy myself Subway every day. Also, my grandmother gets very annoyed when I’m on my phone checking my social media accounts. In fact, I was forced to watch an episode of "Dr. Phil" about a girl who’s so addicted to her phone, she’ll throw a meltdown if it gets taken away or if there’s no Wi-Fi.

But the bad definitely does not outweigh the good things that come with living here. For starters, the food. I'm living in legit downstate. Long Island. Bagels and pizza galore. The other thing, I live so close to the beach. Since the weather's been really nice here, I've been able to take a walk on the boardwalk multiple times. I've even seen surfers go out on the beach and hit the waves right now. But that's not all. I've become very good friends with the family who lives right across the street from my grandma's house. She often babysits for the children, but they love coming over to the house. One of the little girls even made me a bracelet for Christmas.

I didn’t celebrate Christmas with my family this year, nor did I celebrate New Year’s with them. My family isn’t very festive to begin with, so I wouldn’t be missing much at home if I decided to return for a weekend. Yet, at the same time, I do feel a little homesick. I miss my mom, dad, sisters, and one dog. We talk on the phone and text each other almost every day to catch up, but sometimes it just doesn't feel the same as seeing them in person.

It feels weird but, at the same time, I need this. Now, you may be wondering if this is an insane life I’m living right now. But I’m totally cool with it. I wouldn’t drop out of college to live this life. If I was given another internship over the summer or something, I would be willing to sacrifice sitting at home all summer.

As my grandmother has often said, "everything now is only a rehearsal for the next thing."