Despite enjoying college so far, I could not resist the anticipation of going home for the first time since I moved in. Although I may not have admitted it outwardly to anyone, ever since college began, I couldn’t help but yearn for the first break to arrive already. I found myself endlessly discussing future plans with my best friends from home and reminiscing about all my favorite restaurants. As a freshman in college, settling into school is an adjustment, even if you’ve been there for months. It is inevitable and completely OK to miss home because adaption takes time. Now that I’ve had my first break, it feels good to have the fulfillment that’s been missing for a while.
Almost every teenager in high school, including me, envisions the freedom one gains in college, and the thought of being away from home sounds pretty good at the time. Every day, I probably rolled my eyes at my mom and maybe even thought to myself “I can’t wait to leave." But in reality, college life a little different from what I imagined. It’s hard not to miss home and the nagging of my mom or even being bugged by younger siblings.
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Being home for the first time was a nostalgic experience, which sounds kind of weird to say. I felt like everything had remained the same since I left—maybe it was me who felt a little different. In high school, I would view all of the graduated seniors as grown adults. But now that I'm one, I don’t necessarily feel like I’ve matured—but maybe I have a little.
It seems as if I'm a slightly older version of myself now—stepping around my house, putting away groceries, and cleaning voluntarily. After gaining some responsibility in college, I now know how hard it is to maintain a clean living space and to be on my own, so helping around the house seems like something I don’t have to be asked to do. Looking after myself (i.e. doing my own laundry, “making” my own food, and deciding how to use my time effectively) made me feel a little more grown up coming home. Nonetheless, it is still the same place because, within seconds, my mom began giving out commands in the kitchen and my younger brother was already running around amidst everything.
I could’ve been a little less eager to get away while in high school, but I’m also thankful for the experience of having to grow up. As much as you want to get away from everything, you have to realize that eventually that time will come and that absorbing what you have in the moment is important too. Coming home from college will feel familiar, but you’ll be taken by surprise at how different it is to come back a little older and only for a short period of time.
In the end, you will always come back to the same house and find that all of your family photos and memorabilia has been left in the same place you last saw it. But this time, you’ll be back with a slightly different perspective. Coming home will be like opening up an old, favorite book; every detail left unchanged, with the same familiar feeling of comfort.
