Recently, I've felt emotionally and physically lost. I've been feeling confused about my life and my place. What am I doing? Who am I? Where do I belong? Do I belong?
Those are the typical existential questions that keep us up at night. My root of confusion derived from a lot of change within where I reside. I was in one place living with certain people, to another place living with others, and another place living with others. It started to feel as if I did not have a permanent home.
This upset me for a while. I felt as if my life could change at any moment, so it's best not to get too comfortable. Though the more I listen to myself, the more I realized my intuitive home is not a place I can ultimately give a longitude and latitude to.
In fact, my home is not a place at all.
My home is, as the famous expression says, where the heart is. My home is where my people are. My home is where I want to live my life in that moment of time.
I realized this as I listened to myself talk of going home on various days and linking it to the place I desire to be mostly with the people I love most at the time.
Home is where my friends are. Home is where my family is. Home is where my heart wants to be. I cannot give you a location, because there are various ideas about my home at various points in time.
My home is not tangible. My home is a feeling, and it is a comfort. I can be in a foreign state with the one I love and I would call it home. Because my home is not the place I am in, but rather the person I am with.
I realize now that I'm not lost at all. Regardless of where I reside, I know I will also have a home where I find solace.
It can be very difficult to feel as if you have a place in this world sometimes when our life begins feeling fragile and out of control. Our sense of home can be distorted as we are trying to run back to a place we can rely on, but is not always there. Places come and go. It is a shelter, not a sense of belonging.
Our home is not an architect structure, but rather a feeling of comfort and belonging.
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