I was walking home this evening, down Claiborne Avenue. It had already turned dark, the ground was wet. The afternoon had been rainy and a chill seeped in through my coat. My pants were thin as were my socks. I had dressed this morning in men's clothing, because that is just how I felt. In the darkness of the evening and with my women's coat, you could not tell. I probably just looked like a blob. But underneath I had on a men's button down and belt as well as men's shoes. My pants are always women's pants, because of my feminine curves, but most of the times women's shirts and shoes just don't feel right. After teaching a few classes I ended up taking the streetcar from uptown to Canal Street and then walking the half hour to my house. Two blocks from home and a man rolls down his passenger window and slows down the car to get a better look at me, he tries to get my attention but I avoid eye contact, and he continues on his way. I was not afraid at all. I was very close to home, it was a populated street, and it was not too late yet.
What I thought of was, "Hey, Holla At Ya Boy!" Imagining that is what he would have said had I looked at him. Little did he know, under my coat I looked a bit like a boy today. Who knows? Maybe he would have been into that. Then I wondered if he ever did pick up a woman from the street, and what did they do together. I bet he is a nice guy, just a little lonely. Maybe he lives with his family, takes care of his mom. Maybe he has a bunch of siblings and works so much he has no time to find a lady. Maybe he would take her to dinner and a hotel. Maybe they would be happy for a few hours and make memories they would never forget.
That is what life is, a string of memories, images that we keep safely in our minds, and we group them together, usually related to a place or a person. Maybe we forget them for a while, until something happens to remind us. This event tonight was my reminder. I am considered a serial monogamist, most commonly in a serious long-term relationship, but when I have not been in one, I was usually a bit adventurous.
France, Argentina, Brazil, New Orleans, all of these places brought adventure and new faces and names. I would not trade my love and stability right now for any of that, but for those who have not yet found your permanent partner, enjoy these days. There is nothing wrong with it.
People are social, we need to share, we need to connect; most of us anyway. And when we feel isolated or even when we feel free, we look for others to share with. And there is nothing wrong with that. Each person will live and love and relate with others, specifically in their own way. I hope my drive-by guy found someone tonight. And I hope that we all remember those adventurous, maybe reckless times, fondly. How do you remember your single days?
