As the holiday season approaches, we are spending more time with family and friends. We spend these days with our loved one’s cooking dinner, playing games and reminiscing on memories. Some of those memories may include the ones who couldn't be with us in person, but are here with us in spirit. It is sad to think that the ones who may have been with us last season are no longer with us at this time anymore. It’s heartbreaking to think that we will no longer be seeing that smile that once lit up a room, or that laugh that echoes against the walls and just filled your heart with great joy, or is it the smell that you are so used to when they pull you in for a hug. It will be the little things that you will notice now that there they are gone.
When i was 12 years old, i remember knowing that my grandma was sick but i never knew god was going to take her from me so soon. I expected her to be there to see me graduate high school and go off to college and i had even hoped she would be there to watch me walk down the aisle. In October of 2009, just 2 months before Christmas, god decided he had other plans for her. I had so much anger and sadness built up inside me but it was that Christmas that she became my guardian angel and has been watching over me ever since. That first Christmas was the hardest for us. I remember that we all cried a lot and there was a sense of emptiness in the room. No one knew what to do because we didn't want to give off the vibe that we were enjoying each other and ourselves during such a sad time. It hurt having to buy one less gift, and set one less table setting... and sometimes we did it anyway as if they were there with us. As years have passed, the pain and emptiness slowly fills as we remind ourselves of the good times we spent with that loved one. I can’t tell you i haven't cried in the past 7 years because that would be a lie and i can’t tell you that it automatically gets easier because it doesn't. It will take time and it will take strength. It will take love and it will take patience. Surround yourself with friends and family during the holiday season when you are missing your loved one and please don't avoid them as a topic because the holidays are there to remind us to be grateful for what we have and for what we have lost. Whether it be a mother or father, grandparent or friend... they came into our lives for a reason and they loved us through every second of our lives. So take this holiday season to remember our loved ones. Remember all the great things that happened with them, all the laughs and all the smiles because although they may not be here in person... their memory will live on forever. Take the time to pray for those other families who cant spend this holiday season with their loved ones whether they too be departed, live far away, are in the hospital or are fighting for our country. Everyone deserves to know they are loved and being thought of.
There is a little ornament on my tree, with a picture of my loved one right next to it, it says "I love you all dearly, now don't shed a tear, I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year". I am not overly religious but there is one thing i know for sure is that she is looking over me every single day.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!
