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Holiday Parties, As Told By Joey Tribbiani

What's the one thing Joey Tribbiani doesn't share? (Spoiler alert, it's not holiday cheer.)

Hannah Buckley

Dec 14, 2017

University of Massachusetts, Amherst

Holiday Parties, As Told By Joey Tribbiani

JOE.ie

If there's one thing Joey Tribbiani knows a thing or two about... girls? Making less than remarkable comments? Food? Yeah, he definitely specializes in memorizing each and every one of the food groups. Luckily for him, holidays and food tend to go well together!

Christmas is finally around the corner, and you can't wait for the best things of all... CHRISTMAS PARTIES!

It hit you that this will be the first time in months that all your family & friends will be in the same place... all together!

The best part about all of this? Seeing that cousin you only see on Christmas Eve?

Nope.

It's the FOOD.

Sure, you're excited for all the music and conversation, but you really came prepared to eat... a lot.

While your pals are showing off their ugly Christmas sweaters, you're trying to blend in...

...but you're just wearing all those layers to camouflage the couple of extra pounds you've put on this semester.

You'll probably be seen washing down those gingerbread cookies with a swig (or gallon) of milk...

... and we all know what you'll be having for dinner when everyone else is eating ham or turkey!

And finally, when your little cousin asks for a bite of your pie...

Happy Holidays, and more importantly...

Happy eating!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Holiday Parties, As Told By Joey Tribbiani

What's the one thing Joey Tribbiani doesn't share? (Spoiler alert, it's not holiday cheer.)

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I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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