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"Holiday In Handcuffs" Guide To Not Being Single This Holiday Season

A hand woven blindfold is a must!

Dec 19, 2016

"Holiday In Handcuffs" Guide To Not Being Single This Holiday Season

25 Days of Christmas is one of the things that I look forward to every Holiday Season. Buddy the Elf spreading Christmas cheer, Kevin McCallister’s patience (or lack of) with the overwhelming amount of family crammed into one room of the house (and how dare someone eat the last piece of plain pizza?) The Griswold’s showing us the true art of Christmas decorating, and of course, Trudie displaying actual refusal to be alone this holiday season. Here's her five step guide to getting yourself a man for the holidays!

1. Hold Him At Gunpoint

Who can resist a woman in a pink dress, and antlers?

2. Rock A Fro'

We all try to look our best. We straighten our hair, perfect our makeup, and put on a cute outfit. Regardless If we're dressing for ourselves or to impress, maybe this year's holiday hair style must is the fro'.

3. Maybe Add Some Antlers

If the afro wasn't enough, antlers... or better yet a Santa hat may do it.

4. Blindfold Him

It adds excitement and anticipation. If you're looking to give off the whole mysterious woman vibe, a hand-woven blindfold is definitely a must!

5. Cook A Really Nice Dinner

Who doesn't love a home-cooked meal? A romantic candlelit dinner? Since the holidays can get stressful, and we're all busy with Christmas shopping, and work deadlines, warm leftover Chinese food will win over his heart for sure.

So many people worry about being alone during the holidays. Not having someone to watch Christmas movies with, take cute Instagram pictures with in New York City, or not having anyone to bring home to meet the family. And while all these things are nice, a perfectly filtered Instagram with 102 likes, is not what the holiday season is about. While it is about love, it's not necessary that you're wrapped around someone else's arm until New Years. The right guy will come along, enjoy the holidays, and if you have to hold him at gunpoint.... you're probably doing it wrong (and are probably the one who should be in handcuffs.)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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"Holiday In Handcuffs" Guide To Not Being Single This Holiday Season

A hand woven blindfold is a must!

1. Hold Him At Gunpoint

2. Rock A Fro'

3. Maybe Add Some Antlers

4. Blindfold Him

5. Cook A Really Nice Dinner

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

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What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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