Christmas, it’s that magical time of the year when everyone decks out their lawns and homes with sparkling lights, when the house smells like pine and cinnamon, and when everyone gets that warm, fuzzy feeling of love and kindness inside. That is unless you’re like me, in which case the closest thing you get to a warm fuzzy feeling is when you tie your scarf a little too tight and it partially strangles your neck. Don’t get me wrong, as a child I loved Christmas as much as the next kid. There was always something exciting about hanging the lights, baking cookies, secretly wrapping the gifts for mom that dad had stuck in the back of your closet, and all those other fun holiday activities. Naturally, as I got older, a little of that excitement started to fade, until now I’m to the point where Halloween is more magical for me than Christmas is, take that as you will.
Over the years I’ve wondered why I suddenly stopped being as excited and enticed about Christmas and the “Holiday Season,” and in my reflections I’ve come to several conclusions about why the magic has faded, and also the new meaning the Christmas has taken on for me as I’ve developed my own customs, beliefs, and faith. So if you’re like me, and Christmas has lost it’s magic for you over the years, perhaps we can begin to make sense of this together, and get that feeling of guilt over our lack of seemingly obligatory joy off our backs.
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For starters, Christmas is a cold holiday, or at least it is where I live in Upstate New York, and I am really not a cold weather person. There are plenty of people who enjoy the snow, people that you could call festive—although I prefer the term crazy, but that’s just me—but I am not one of those people. The only benefit that cold weather brings to my household is warm fires in our woodstove that we use to heat our house, but even that is a small pleasure amidst a blizzard of discomfort. (Get it, blizzard. Anyways)
In addition to that, Christmas has huge religious significance to Christians, which makes it a pivotal holiday…if you’re a Christian. I must confess that as a child, Christmas was a looming event in my mind, but it wasn’t because it was the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, it was because I knew I would have a solo singing the Psalm at Christmas eve mass and I knew that tomorrow morning meant presents. I was a very proud child, and I’ll let those of you who were the righteous children who had their Christmas toys donated to kids in need judge me as you will. As I’ve gotten old and discovered that my beliefs no longer align with the Catholic faith I was a part of as a child, the significance of Christmas, and thus its magic, has faded away.
Then there’s the matter of Christmas being a holiday where you spend time with your family and count your blessings. I’ll be brutally honest here; my familiy's Christmas is not some grand coming together, it’s the same Sunday dinner party which includes my brother, mother, father, and maternal grandparents, but with one of my grandfather’s cousins added on. Would I like to see more of my family around the holidays? Yes and no. If you have a big family gathering for Christmas I’m sure you know how it is.
What about all those holiday festivities, like caroling, ice skating, sledding, snow ball fights, building snowmen? Surely we can’t be immune to the magic of these communal observances. Actually, we can. All I can say is that if I can’t feel my fingers, toes, and nose, then I’m not having a good time, end of story.
What then does Christmas mean to those of us who are apathetic towards the spirit of the holidays, who can’t relate to the religious significance of the holiday, or who are just too cold to think about this “magical” time of the year? Christmas has come to mean a special time of the year when you’re allowed to go wild and give as many, or as few, gifts as you’d like. While this doesn’t necessarily mean material items, I make things for my friends and family, and not because I’m obligated to—I give gifts all year round. The experience that Christmas provides is the opportunity to honestly express how much I care for the people in my life who are important to me.
More and more this has meant defining and redefining what I think the best gifts to give to people are. I put a great deal of thought into crafting a small holiday package for each of my closest friends that reflects the things that I want them to recognize in themselves, and shares a part of me with them, but I’ve also come to believe that the best gift you can give to someone is that which you cannot actually give—your presence. Of all the gifts I’ve ever given and received, none are worth as much as a handful of hours to a day with someone that you actually care about.
The true meaning of Christmas to me, is not a feeling or even a holiday, it’s an attitude, an attitude of kindness and generosity that comes from your heart, not your pocketbook. Because of that, Christmas as a holiday lacks luster to me because I practice what I believe to be the attitude of Christmas all year round. Spending time with the people we care about is the underlying theme that the holidays are all about, and I don’t think we need a day, or even a month, to remind us to do that.
