I understand that the college bar scene is not going to be glamorous, sitting in a private booth with bottle service. I don't expect to walk into a bar filled with kids dressed to the nines. However, the bars we've spent the last two years worth of Thursday and Saturday nights at are viciously rolling down hill.
The dive bars went from being the most fun times of my college career to the last places I want to be spending my junior spring semester, let alone the remainder of my time here. My hatred for hole-in-the-wall bars has been a list of annoyances slowly piling on top of one another until I decided I was wasting my nights giving money to a bar who can't even supply its own toilet paper. So I decided to help the team out and make a shopping/to-do list.
1. Toilet paper.
There's literally never any. It went from having to ask the girl in the stall over for some to having to check under the sink to having to check the supply closet in the hall, which of course ran out because it never got restocked, having to use paper towels having to ask the boys bathroom for toilet paper having to ask the boys bathroom for paper towels having to ask for a flipping napkin at the bar if you weren't fortunate to be born with the ability to pee standing up. I've actually contemplated bringing my own toilet paper roll in my purse.
2. Straws.
They only supply those when they feel like getting dangerous and splurging on essential items. But who needs a straw when they might not even have cups since they tend to run out on the regular.
3. Cups.
Bartender likes you? You get a beer pint of cranberry and vodka. Doesn't know you or like you? You get a little glass cup with the possibility of a drop of alcohol.
4. Cranberry juice and vodka does not mean just cranberry juice.
I have had a sober friend order a cranberry and vodka to only find that they were detoxing for a very expensive eight ounces of cranberry juice that they could've bought a gallon for the same price.
5. A pen and paper to write down a new list when you run out.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I worked in a bar. I understand things run out, and that's stressful enough to the owners to run out of an item they typically serve. But to run out of vodka in the only bar in a college town?
6. A set schedule (or at least a heads up when closing for the weekend).
When you are one of the only bars in walking distance of a college campus and you're aware half the campus walks so they aren't drinking and driving, the least you can do is give us a heads up when you're closed. A tweet? A Facebook post? An actual active number listed on Google so we can call and find out ourselves?
7. Decide if you're an 18 and older bar or not.
18 and up bar on Thursday, 21 and up bar by Saturday—if they're even open, which the underclassmen wouldn't know until they've trucked their frozen selves all the way down to Front Street just to Uber on home. (Don't drink and drive: Use this promo code when downloading the app to receive your first ride free.)
8. Figure out what your cover charge is.
One day it is $5, the next $10, and eight out of 10 times there isn't a DJ. Especially when you have a kitchen and serve bar food, bars will make money off the 19 and 20 year olds when they serve food and aren't necessarily a "club" scene. It's getting obnoxious having to watch my younger friends be turned away at the bar because they forgot cash. Which brings me to my next point of not accepting debit card for the charge is a little outdated as well. Not many carry cash anymore, and I can't remember the last bar or club I've gone to that didn't allow me to swipe my cover charge (and they at least have a DJ and toilet paper). At least tweet it so 18–20 year old customers can stop and get cash from their own bank since your ATM is usually down and has a processing fee.
9. Teach your bartenders common social skills.
I've watched bartenders blatantly ignore people just because they have class with them and can't decide if they like them or not. Bartenders are supposed to be sociable,and at the very least respectful to the customers who are tipping them.
10. Remind your bartenders that tipping themselves is illegal and very, very rude.
Again, I've worked at a bar, and it was drilled into our heads not to mess up a tip via debit card when adding it later on in the night (the original total is charged first, and then tip added after close, which is why most of the time you will see a pending charge without your tip included change to the new total you signed off on updated later before the charge is posted on your account).
This goes for cash, too. If you are advertising $2 drinks, a customer orders two and hands you a 10 dollar bill, you should not be handing her back $2. I have heard multiple regular customers of local bars say their tab was incorrectly charged at the end of the night, and those paying in cash started to only give exact change because they never receive enough cash back. If this is a bar's policy, there needs to be a disclaimer posted about mandatory gratuity being included. Bartenders stealing tips hurt their own chances of getting actually tipped; if they gave back the right amount of change, they would be getting tipped.