Whenever a music artist from the seventies says something in a song that I don't understand I just assume they're talking about drugs, and usually I'm right. Except with Elton John, because I don't understand anything he's saying in his songs and all his music can't be about drugs; that would make him Pink Floyd.

I used to assume that Elton John was just the great music artist of the seventies that I enjoyed but would never understand. Billy Joel, Carol King, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Stevie Wonder, all make sense. I like Elton John's music, though, so much so that whenever anyone plays an Elton John song my mood always seems to improve. Yet, I have no clue what any of it's about. If you asked me what the larger idea of Elton Johns music was I would have no clue how to answer. I could explain to you ten different theories of who really assassinated JFK before I could come up with one central theme of Elton Johns music. Yet Elton John is great, that much cannot be argued, but why is he great? And does the fact that I have no clue what his music is about, make it worse in totality?

I’m currently writing this while waiting to do a show at a bar (I’m very uncool). I decided to ask the three people at the table in front of me what they think of Elton John:

Person 1: Yeah, Elton John is great. IDK why I like him. I like him like I like Billy Joel. He’s got that piano, it’s sick man. I like him, man. I don’t know why. “Crocodile Rock”, man.

Person 2: I don’t know him, but my mom likes him.

Person 3: Yeah, you have too, right? He’s one of those big radio artists. He’s good.

These were all equally interesting answers for different reasons and I think they represent the cultures opinions of Elton John: He’s great but I can’t really tell you why, I don’t know him but I know a lot of people like him and I don’t know anybody who dislikes him, and he’s great, just because. These three answers are unique and different, yet they’re all coming to the same conclusion: Elton John is great and nobody really knows why, he just is. If I think of the image I have of Elton Johns music it’s a guy in a bodacious suit with the sunglasses that I wanted to buy (And never could because my Mom wouldn’t let me) as a kid. There’s glitter, and they’re shaped in ways you didn’t know sunglasses could be (That’s all I know about them). That says nothing about his music, and doesn’t have anything to do with the larger idea of his music, that’s just the small amount of photographic space of Elton John that exists in my mind.

"Daniel" is a great song. Its melodic tone is beautiful, sonically it's spectacular. It’s about some dude named Daniel; that’s the extent of my knowledge. This isn’t because I’m lazy or lack attention to detail in my music tastes because I’m usually the guy that knows way too much about very particular things in popular culture. Yet with Elton John, I don’t know anything about what he’s saying, but I like everything I hear. I have no clue what Benny and The Jets is about but it’s a great song. I don’t even think if I put myself to a test I could accurately tell you any verses from the song. Here’s my attempt at translating “Bennie And The Jets” word for word:

*I put in bold the parts I didn’t know or got wrong

*heavy piano plays, leading you up to the point Elton comes in, we all know this part

Hey kids,ba ba ba ba ba ba,

the spotlight's hitting something

That’s been known to change the weather

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

__ stick around

You’re gonna hear electric music

blah blah blah of sound

blah blah blah blah blah blah

oooh, they’re so played out, B-B-Benny and the Jets

Oh but they’re weird and they’re wonderful

Oh, Bennie, she’s a blah blah blah

She’s got electric boots, and mohair suits,

You know I read it in a magazine,

B-B-Bennie and The Jets

Here are the actual verses:

Hey kids, shake it loose together

The spotlight's hitting something

That's been known to change the weather

We'll kill the fatted calf tonight

So stick around

You're gonna hear electric music

Solid walls of sound

Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet

Oh but they're so spaced out, B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful

Oh, Bennie, she's really keen

She's got electric boots a mohair suit

You know I read it in a magazine

B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

I like this song a lot and I don’t even know the words. It doesn’t work like that with other artists. I know every word to “Juicy,” I know every word of “Like A Rolling Stone,” I even know every word to “P.I.M.P.” (sorry, Mom). With Elton John, though, I know a lot of nothing, and that doesn’t make me enjoy his music any less. This isn’t unique to “Bennie And The Jets” either. I’ve listened to “Tiny Dancer” at least a billion times (I had no friends in high school so I watched Almost Famous a lot) and I didn’t even know the words to the hook until like ten minutes ago. Its, “Hold me closer Tiny Dancer,” in case you were wondering.

I think the reason I never knew the hook to Tiny Dancer was I was so into the song, whenever Tiny Dancer played anywhere I was vibe'n with it so much I never even cared much what he was saying. At first, it seems not caring about the larger idea of what the artist is saying or knowing the words probably makes an artist worse, and I think that’s true for most people. But in the case of Elton John, I’m actually starting to believe that makes him all the greater. If I don’t know what Chingy or Kelly Clarkson are saying in their songs, I hold it against him. But when Elton John is talking about Crocodile Rock, I couldn’t give less of a shit about what Crocodile Rock is. It could be about crocodile skin coats and crack; the song would still be appealing.

It seems that the conclusion I’ve come too is that sonically, his music is so good that the words don’t even matter. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, though I’m not comfortable with this being the case. I don’t want other people to be viewed through this superficial prism (though I suspect most music artists already are) I just want Elton John to be viewed this way because Elton John is great, and in this context great is a euphemism for I have no idea what it means in popular culture to be great, I just know it when I see it. If Bennie and The Jets end up being about Elton John on an acid trip where Pop Tarts come to life and turn into jet planes, I won’t be disappointed, because I won’t care because I’ll be too busy mumbling along to the words, while enjoying his great voice and sonically beautiful melodies. What I'm trying to say is: I don’t like what Elton John has made me realize about myself.