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Hogwarts Houses: 'The Bachelorette' Edition

"There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see."

Savannah Jackson

Aug 09, 2016

Southern Methodist University

Hogwarts Houses: 'The Bachelorette' Edition

Bustle

Last week, season 12 of the Bachelorette ended when Dallas Real Estate Developer Jojo Fletcher accepted the proposal of former NFL quarterback Jordan Rogers. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I am having some serious withdrawals from watching Jojo find her perfect man. Since I've also recently been reading Harry Potter, naturally, I decided to sort Jojo and some of my favorite contestants into the various Hogwarts houses: Griffyndor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff.

Jojo Fletcher: Griffyndor

It takes a fairly large amount of courage to subject your dating life to national television, not only once but twice. Jojo made it clear that she values chivalry, especially during her conversation with Jordan during the finale, in which she became very upset that he did not ask her father’s permission to propose. Jojo was brave enough to share her feelings with all of America for 10 weeks (plus the other 10 weeks from her time on the Bachelor), which earns her a spot in Griffyndor.

Jordan Rogers: Slytherin

I did not get the world’s best vibe from Jordan Rogers, and personally felt that he was not completely honest about himself or his past with Jojo. Jordan is an ambitious guy and immediately worked to become one of the frontrunners (which he did by receiving the first impression rose).

Robby Hayes: Slytherin

Robby definitely had a lot of drama surrounding him, especially in the last few episodes of the show. While he repeatedly denies that he broke up with his girlfriend to go on to the show, many wonder if he was being completely honest. I personally felt that Robby may have used some cunning methods to attempt to win Jojo’s heart.

Luke Pell: Ravenclaw

Hometowns. The heart made of flowers surrounded by candles. Enough said. Clearly Luke is a very creative guy and went outside of the box, especially on his hometown date, to try to win Jojo’s heart. He graduated from West Point with degrees in engineering and psychology, so clearly he is not just eye candy, either.

James Taylor: Hufflepuff

My favorite James moment was when he stuffed 20 fries into his mouth in hopes to impress Jojo. He’s not a very athletic guy and he did not try to pretend to be someone he wasn’t on the athletic group dates; he was patient and waited for other opportunities to show Jojo how great of a guy he is.

Wells Adams: Ravenclaw

Wells’ live drunk snap story of the hometown episode was one of the funniest moments from Season 12, and it wasn’t even technically part of the show. Wells clearly has brains as well, because throughout his stint on the show he played up being the “normal guy” through his actions and personality, which won him a very loyal fanbase and a spot on the Bachelor in Paradise.

There you have it. I may not be the official Hogwarts Sorting Hat, but I think I'm pretty close.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

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5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

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Hogwarts Houses: 'The Bachelorette' Edition

"There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see."

Jojo Fletcher: Griffyndor

Jordan Rogers: Slytherin

Robby Hayes: Slytherin

Luke Pell: Ravenclaw

James Taylor: Hufflepuff

Wells Adams: Ravenclaw

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What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

9. You've already established your de-stress routine.

10. Wondering where all the new freshman came from.

11. But ultimately being glad that you have a lot more knowledge than you did a year ago.

Freedom vs. Curfew

No one cares if you wear pajamas to class

You don't live with mommy anymore, say hello to cereal and Ramen Noodles

Curfew? Never heard of her.

Everything said in class is most likely posted online

Sundays are now for hangovers and homework

The realization that you need your pet now more than ever

High school parties are nothing compared to college

Exams are worth way more than participation points

The library is now your new best friend

You don't live with your mom anymore... call her

Moms are super heroes dressed in yesterday's clothing and they deserve an award for that.

1. For all of the endless hugs and kisses you always seem to smother me in.

2. For teaching me how to cuddle and being the best cuddle buddy still to this day.

3. For teaching me some of the best "mom dance moves"

4. For pushing through all of the sleepless nights and still being super mom.

5. For not killing me every time you found me cutting my own bangs.

6. For showing me all the classics and helping me develop a good taste in movies.

7. And for watching the ridiculous reality TV shows with me because no one else will.

8. For helping me with all of that awful homework that even you couldn't understand.

9 For giving us a taste of our own medicine when we needed it.

10. For setting my curfew at a reasonable hour to ensure I didn't get into any mischief. (I was still able to accomplish a little mayhem though)

11. For spoiling me as a little girl but making me do chores as I got older. I now understand the point of having a clean house.

12. For being the best host to all of the weird friends I would bring over.

13. And for standing up for me when those weird friends stabbed me in the back.

14. For listening when I needed to vent and always giving the best advice possible.

15. For being the absolute best cook. No arguments there.

16. For answering every single phone call and the millions of questions that I always have.

17. For letting me form my own identity and encouraging me along the way.

18. For going on shopping dates with me and always telling me your honest opinion.

19. For rolling the windows down and singing along to the music with me.

20. And for being the best mom possible. I love you!

I wish I had my mom.

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