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Politics and Activism

Why I'm Done With The Word "Hoe"

Can we stop with the labeling please?

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Why I'm Done With The Word "Hoe"
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Okay everyone, gather around and listen up because I will NOT say this again: Stop calling people "hoes".

I am just done with everybody calling people "hoes". I actually googled the definition of this word (Not that I had to, but I wanted to know what people on the Internet defined this word as) and I found that the most appropriate definition (and the least offensive) was: "a promiscuous person" (Urban Dictionary, 2016).

People have been calling each other "hoes" since as long as I can remember, but that does not make it right. So what if someone is promiscuous? How does that influence you in any way? Does the fact that they date/have dated a lot of people disturb your day-to-day functioning? Are you incapable of being in the same room as someone who has had what you consider to be an "indecent" amount of sexual partners (As if there is such a thing as a decent amount of sexual partners)? Do you get panic attacks or something because someone is a "hoe"? No, you don't. So why do you have the need to label them using such a demeaning word? Since when is other people's sexuality your business?

The truth about the word "hoe" is that it is used to shame people for dating (or having sexual relations for that matter) with a number of people that society deems as unacceptable. Since when do we care about how many people others have slept with? Are we in the Middle Ages? Are we going to go around town handing out scarlet letters?

I even went on Twitter to see what would pop up when I typed the word "hoe", and the results were not surprising.

What do you care why people block their families on social media? Mind your own business. Maybe they don't want their parents to comment on their Instagram pictures because sometimes they leave embarrassing comments and what not. And even if they block them because they don't want their families to know whether they are seeing different people, who are you to judge them and what they should tell their families? Nah, fam.

All this about being a hoe is just about people exploring their sexuality and their feelings. People change, times change, feelings change, thoughts change. Who are you to criticize someone over changing their mind? Why do you think you have the right to tell others that they have dated "too many people" or that "they get around too much"? Since when do you dictate other people's lives?

Women are the ones that get called "hoes" the most. Want to know why? Because we live in a society where women are not truly free, because they still get shamed for every single thing they do: "Oh, you use the puppy filter on Snapchat? You must be a hoe", "Oh honey you're wearing too much make-up you look like a hoe", "You're wearing a really tight/short/revealing dress/skirt/article of clothing so you must be a hoe." You know what? Just stop. We wear whatever we want whenever we want for whatever reason we want and we certainly DO NOT have to ask anyone for permission. If that makes me a "hoe" to you, so be it.

Okay just... Explain to me HOW using a specific Snapchat filter makes you a "hoe". This is nonsense.

This one just makes me sick. First of all, no; if you have someone on the side while dating someone else you're both jerks because you are willingly and knowingly hurting someone else. Now, if you want to use the word "hoe" to describe whoever you have on the side you better have damn clear that YOU are a "hoe" too, because YOU are cheating and YOU are also being promiscuous. So if you're going to go around calling people names, how about you look at yourself in the mirror to find out whether that label applies to you too.

Nowadays, we shame people for everything, and it is absolutely disgusting. How about we just let people live their lives? I don't care about how many people my friends' have slept with. If they're virgins, then good for them; if they've slept with two people, then good for them; if they've slept with 50 people, then good for them. Why should I judge them? Who am I to do such a thing? And for that matter, who are we to judge everyone else?

I know that people won't stop calling each other "hoes" because this is something that has become embedded in our culture. So what do you say we change the meaning of the word "hoe"? Being a "hoe" is defined, as stated earlier, as being promiscuous. In other words, you are a "hoe" if you've slept with a number of people that society has deemed as unacceptable. Now, since we all know that society doesn't get to decide how we live our lives, how about every time someone tries to shame us for seeing too many people, or having dated a lot of people, or even having a number of sexual partners that they consider indecent, we laughed in their face?

The truth about people labeling and bullying and shaming others is that it will never end because some people are just broken like that; they are unable to feel happiness unless others are miserable. We can't change these people; so let's change our reaction to their criticism. Every time they try to shame us for being human, and experimenting, and changing our minds, let's just laugh at them. They can call us "hoes" as much as they want, but the truth is that they don't know us. They don't know our value, they don't know who we are, so it doesn't matter what label they give us because WE know that it doesn't represent us, and that is all that matters.

If being human and changing my mind and falling in and out of love makes me a "hoe", then guess what: I am a hoe, and I am proud. I am not afraid to say it because I know that what society deems as being a "hoe" is part of being human, part of growing up, and part of living life. I don't see why I should be ashamed of living my life, which is why I don't care if people try to shame me for it. I have many places to see, things to experience, and BOYS TO DATE to care about what those who hide behind their screens think about me.

And to all of you out there being called hoes by people who have nothing better to do with their lives than look at and criticize yours: never forget, #HoeAndProud.

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