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What 'Hocus Pocus' Taught Me About Life

This cult classic taught me a lot of surprising things.

Alyssa Langenwalter

Oct 10, 2016

Moms of Odyssey

disney.com

Hocus Pocus taught me a lot of things as a child; That witches were 100% real and would try to suck out my soul for eternal life (this only kept me up hundreds of nights, no big deal), that zombies were probably nice (tell that to the Walking Dead producers), and that I totally wanted to go to Salem and bask in the creepiness. Other than that, I didn't get most of the underlying, yet important things that could be learned from the Sanderson Sisters and their sinister Halloween plans. As a young adult, I paid closer attention and learned the following...

1. There is such a thing as the perfect amount of cleavage.

And Sarah Sanderson achieved it. I'll wait while you applaud.

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/sarah-sanderson-d8qeh10zESw... GIPHY

2. It's important to remain calm when in a stressful situation

and if you're not calm, you can totally fake it by screaming at your sisters

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-3jM7CdrS12Mw0">... GIPHY

3. You should not date your sister's boyfriend

it could have dire consequences...

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-J1ISRUlwF8bGo">... GIPHY

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-halloween-h9AjJ... GIPHY

4. A good music number should never be overlooked

I put a spell on you....

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-mduxKtHQVLPCE">... GIPHY

5. Never underestimate the importance of a good stare down

If you can do it in sync with your sisters, it's even more effective

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-kAoLWS7oRqH8A">... GIPHY

6. You never know what that weird guy could turn into...

Thackery Binx is proof that sometimes the hottest guy is disguised as a cat...and is dead. Remember what we learned about zombies??

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-G015buwmDYFzi">... GIPHY

7. Causing bodily harm to dudes? Always funny.

At least when it comes from zapping them with your magical witch powers

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-i-wanted-to-be-... GIPHY

8. Don't trust the guys who don't use their real names

even if he did start the whole undercut movement

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/90s-halloween-hocus-pocus-N... GIPHY

9. Run, whenever you can

and by that, I mean AMUCK

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-J3I5uZDeLN5cs">... GIPHY

10. It's never just a bunch of hocus pocus

don't ever light a black flame candle

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-hSh3QyPCNJOeI">... GIPHY

and finally, it isn't officially Halloween season until you've watched Hocus Pocus. So get to it, people, it's October!

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/hocus-pocus-14adiumKzWFUvC"... GIPHY

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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What 'Hocus Pocus' Taught Me About Life

This cult classic taught me a lot of surprising things.

1. There is such a thing as the perfect amount of cleavage.

2. It's important to remain calm when in a stressful situation

3. You should not date your sister's boyfriend

4. A good music number should never be overlooked

5. Never underestimate the importance of a good stare down

6. You never know what that weird guy could turn into...

7. Causing bodily harm to dudes? Always funny.

8. Don't trust the guys who don't use their real names

9. Run, whenever you can

10. It's never just a bunch of hocus pocus

and finally, it isn't officially Halloween season until you've watched Hocus Pocus. So get to it, people, it's October!

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