Having grown up in Destin, Florida- I've seen my fair share of hurricanes. We've evacuated, boarded up windows, seen flash floods, and experienced life with no power or water for days, all before. But, none of that could have prepared me for the not so little category two- "Hurricane Matthew" to hit my little coastal Georgia community.

This was my first hurricane in years, my first hurricane as an adult, and my first hurricane away from my family. It was scary, and I learned a lot of life lessons from this weekend of no power, water, internet or cell service.

I feel so petty writing that. "It was scary." Yes, the storm was scary, and not knowing the safety of my family for a little while was scary, feeling alone was scary; but at the end of the day none of that is what I'm here to write about- and also, none of it compares to how severely other people were affected by this tragedy of nature.

In the past couple months, I've hit a dry spell. I've had one obstacle, one doubt, one insecurity, after another come my way causing me to fall flat on my butt and ask God: "Why?".

I had all of these plans for this semester to be so different. I was going in as a completely new person. For the first time in a while, I thought I had it all planned out again: new life, big internship, new job as an editor, graduation around the corner and I had it all figured out. My new life was supposed to be this shiny new Laura. I had no fear, and I thought I had given it all to the Lord. No boyfriend to distract me or cause me to stumble, no temptations to go out and make the wrong decisions, and one heck of a testimony that I was beyond ready to share. I had it goin' on and nothing was gonna stop me from my new life.

But all of these things that were supposed to set me up for the best semester of my life had only one thing in common: Me.... Me. Me. Me. I. I. I. And with that, I was setting myself up for a season of failure.

Last week, I had finally broken down. Sobbing in my room, I had nowhere else to turn- I felt so empty. I finally had had enough of asking God "why", and decided to just listen. My "why" quickly turned to "what".

"What can I do to get out of this pit? Jesus, what are you using me for when I feel so useless? What do I do next?"

One thing led to another and I was reaching out to a complete stranger. (Not like me at all). She invited me to this "Lipstick Gospel" thing on campus and there I was, feeling I had nothing left to give, but I was gonna give this a chance. I had nothing left to lose, right? I invited a couple gal pals and we went. The speaker was the author of a book that, at that time, had little to no meaning in my life- yet. Her message had me in tears and I made the trek over to the sales table after it was over to make my purchase of her cute little book.

Little did I know, I'd have no choice but to read it- cover to cover, when all power went out and mother nature released her wrath on the South East just a few short days later. (Mind you, I'm no reader.)

So, that's exactly what I did. In the times not spent reading, I did a little reflecting; some "soul searching", if you will. I realized that I hadn't given Jesus every part of me and some serious internal cleansing needed to be done.

I dug, and dug deep. The past heartbreak and ache I was still carrying around with me and let haunt me every day. The abuse and rejection I relive in my thoughts. The constant negative words I let creep into my mind, being my own worst critic. The regrets of my former life that I couldn't seem to let go (and still, we're working on it); I wanted it all gone. Just like Stephanie did in her book. The driver's seat of my life as a whole needed to be given back to Jesus.

I know, I know. You're probably sitting there thinking, "What on earth does this have to do with a hurricane?!!" I'm feeling very symbolic here- so just bear with me.

Riding around town the day after the hurricane hit, I looked around and saw debris everywhere, hundreds of uprooted trees, and downed power lines. I checked social media to see how others were affected; flooding, the loss of their homes and vehicles.

Coincidence, some may say, when Jesus Culture's song "Fierce" came on my shuffled playlist. God's sense of humor always cracks me up. One of my favorite lines, turned to be one of the turning points for me in that ride around town that day:

"Like a hurricane
That I can't escape
Tearing through the atmosphere
His love is fierce"

Chills.

When I chose to take that time to give Jesus all my yucky feelings, it legitimately felt like that crazy hurricane outside. Reliving those horrible moments of my life just one last time, I could see myself going through all the hurt and pain and the only thing I wanted that suffering girl to know that she is loved; and that everything was gonna be okay. I am no longer any of the bad names I call myself or the things people say about me behind my back. I'm not a used up rag that no one wants, who's incapable of being loved.

Jesus came and died on the cross for me. He literally died, to show His love for us. I have to remind myself that I am forgiven for my past and once I've given up all of that yucky stuff- like the calm after the storm, He makes all things beautiful.

Have you ever been outside after a really hard rainy day and seen the grass and the trees just so green? Have you ever seen a beautiful rainbow after a storm? That's what I felt like when I finally gave it all to Him.

Jesus wants that for you too.

Let Him wreck you like a hurricane. Let Him show you His grace and love. No matter what you've done in your past, He forgives you! And ya'll, how freeing that feels. I am no longer a slave to fear because I am a child of God. Just like you. Let Him in. Give him your yucky stuff. I promise he will change your world forever.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." -Ephesians 2:8