How To: Do your homework

1. Receive assignment.

2. Label it as busy work and don't do it.

3. Be relieved that the teacher doesn't ask for it in class the next day.

4. Get irritated at that one kid who reminds the teacher.

5. Learn your lesson and do your homework next time.

How To: Get ready for school

1. Wake up, shower, and brush teeth.

2. Go to get dressed.

3. Wonder if that's really the best outfit for your day.

4. Realize your favorite shirt is in the wash.

5. Change outfits.

6. Realize you wore that outfit last week and the week before.

7. Look at the pile of clothes on your floor.

8. Give up and put on sweatpants.

9. When you get to school, realize you forgot something important:

a) Homework

b) Glasses

c) Deodorant

d) Shoes

How To: Ace reading quizzes

1. Have enough time to read.

2. Watch 2 seasons of "The Office" instead.

3. Read the Sparknotes.

4. Answer half of three questions and draw question marks on two.

5. Do the reading next time. It helps, I swear.

How To: Start the school year

Freshman: Think that you're super old and mature but be secretly intimidated by everything.

Sophomore: Think that you're actually super old and mature now (you aren't)

Junior: Holy crap, are they allowed to give this much work on the first day. Also, college?

Senior: College, and college, also college, but you're also almost done but college!

How To: Handle the first day back from break

1. Wake up.

2. Put on sweatpants.

3. Go back to bed.

How To: Handle a busy week

1. What can you afford to fail?

How To: Stay on top of your classwork

1. Talk to your teachers regularly.

2. Pay attention in class.

3. Sit on your backpack.

How To: Survive a class

1. Get the teacher on a tangent about...

a) Their college days.

b) Their wedding/pet/child.

c) Some special skill they have that's weird like salsa dancing, breeding rabbits, or the key to drawing perfect circles.

2. Create a list of irrelevant words that you have to use in your questions.

3. See if you can get the trash can from one side of the room to the other without your teacher noticing.

4. Find the subject interesting and learn something.