It seems like it's almost in trend to be emotionless and have a black heart in today's society. It's almost frowned upon to be someone who feels things like glee, excitement, sadness, and heartache. Rather, it's OK to feel these things, you just can't show the world that you have felt it. The only thing that people really care to show is their apathy. Indifference is what the #trend is.
For me, it's hard to be so emotionless. I've always been a ball of emotions. When I'm happy, I'm really happy. I'll be grinning ear to ear, laughing, and going out of my way to make sure that other people feel as good as I do. If I'm sad, I'm more likely to lay around and want to watch movies all day. I tend to speak less and want to be alone. Anger brings the heavy hot tears of frustration. It makes me want to scream into pillows and go on long walks to cool down. Because I've always been wired to feel these things, and to openly show that I was feeling them, however rare some of them are, it's strange to me that people can be such blank slates.
I have been labeled "too emotional or sensitive", or "crazy". Why is that? Because when my feelings get hurt or I get personally insulted, I get upset? I don't think that makes me crazy or too much of anything. I think that makes me human.
I used to be so self conscious of this part of my personality. There would be times where people would point out that I was the one who cried during Beyonce's concert when she made an inspirational speech and make it into a joke. It would hurt my feelings because it seemed like I had this flaw, that I felt too much. It was always annoying for me to feel bad when my friends were sad, or tear up when they were crying. "Why are you upset? I'm the one who had all of this bad stuff happen?". People used to think it was because I wanted the attention on me. I can tell you that wasn't the case. I just hated seeing my closest friends so hurt and not being able to do anything about it. If their parents were getting a divorce or their pet died, there was not a single thing I could do except let them feel those feelings. I hate feeling helpless to the bad things in this world.
If I could have a big shield, like Captain America, except to protect everyone from pain, suffering, heartbreak, and disappointment, you bet I would. I would hold out my arm protecting people all day.
Recently, I realized that this wasn't a flaw though. I was given a gift, if anything. I have the ability to empathize with others because I have felt nearly every emotion you can think of. I understand what people are feeling even if I haven't necessarily gone through the same experience. With this, I can surely help people. I can listen to people's troubles and give them some comfort in knowing they are not alone in this world that seems to have turned so cold.
I've learned that I'm awesome, despite being what some people would call having fragile feelings. Being soft hearted is one of the braver things I've done in this short life of mine. I don't believe it is naive to take things to heart; for me, it makes everything an opportunity for growth.
Don't let this world turn you hard and stay true to your heart, even if that means you are a crazy, emotional, outcast. It's better than being a heartless cyborg that's just trying to fit in with the crowd.
