Why It's OK To Be Picky When It Comes To Finding 'The One' | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Why It's OK To Be Picky When It Comes To Finding 'The One'

To me, they’re settling for less than they deserve. To them, I’m asking too much.

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Why It's OK To Be Picky When It Comes To Finding 'The One'
Tiera Meadows

We’ve become a generation of “Netflix and chill’, of asking permission before you call someone, of texting “I’m outside” instead of just walking to the door. When did this happen? How has dating changed so much? Why are we OK with it?

I was raised in a family where my mother never really worked and my dad was the bread-winner. He taught my brothers to respect women and work hard. He taught me to know what I want and gave me very high expectations for how a man should treat me. My ideas of dating are completely different than most people my age. To me, they’re settling for less than they deserve. To them, I’m asking too much. But why is it wrong to have high standards and expect to be treated a certain way?

I’m OK with a more old-fashioned relationship. I want them to shake my dad’s hand, open doors for me, and say, “no,” when I offer to pay for my meal. I want them to treat people kindly and tip well. I want to spend time with someone that puts their phone down. I want to be with someone who’s not putting every detail of our relationship on Facebook. I want surprises, maturity, loyalty, and kept promises. He’s going to make the first move, he's going to drive, and he’s going to say, “sorry,” even if he doesn’t mean it.

That’s right, I was the “princess” of my family. I've always been spoiled; by my parents, my extended family, my brothers, and my boyfriend. Now, I’m not dumb and I don’t expect him to dump every penny he makes into me. I want the thought, effort, and commitment that our generation seems to lack. If I was dating, I’d wait forever until my standards were met.

If you disagree because you’re the “feminist type”, that’s perfectly fine—just don’t judge me for being the “wifey” type. I believe that if women want the same equality as man, they deserve it. Some support you but don’t want all that comes with it. Some are fine getting paid less, some are fine staying at home, some would rather do all the cooking and cleaning. Don’t call those women stupid for having different values. No one is wrong here unless they’re degrading others.

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