Jenny Schwartz has not only become determined to overcome her eating disorder, but she is also continuing to raise the bar as a student at Fairfield University. Her struggle with his secretive disorder started in seventh grade when it was elicited by setting personal high standards.
“I hit really low weight at the end of seventh grade. I told my parents that it was just stress and that I would put on more weight in the summer” Schwartz said. In eight grade, she reassured her parents again, “Don’t worry, summer will come.”
Yet it didn’t take long for the eating disorder to spin her life out of control and the only control that she had was resorting to controlling her food to a high extent. It was her freshman year of high school that she was officially diagnosed with an eating disorder.
Jenny was on the varsity swim team, the marching band, and a leader for her dance company. In the meantime, she was also taking all advanced classes. “I held myself to really high standards,” she said. “I was constantly comparing myself to the best, I wasn’t the best and I never felt good enough.”
She was exercising intensely and when she thought that she didn’t perform her best, she would discipline herself not to eat. “When you’re exercising intensely and then you’re not eating, your body completely shuts down. It’s a vicious cycle because I wouldn’t eat and wouldn’t perform well and then because I wouldn’t perform well, I wouldn’t eat,” Jenny said.
With the pressure of school and sports, her weight dropped so low that she almost didn’t make it the end of ninth grade. Her weight was only 74 pounds. Though she was able to finish out the school year, this is when she realized that she needed to seek for help.
“I think the biggest thing is admitting to yourself that you have a problem…I didn’t know what other people wanted. So I just assumed that while being as skinny as physically possible would make them want them to be my friend. And then I thought if I can’t control anything else in my life, I will control my weight. That is why I was so rigid about food,” Jenny said.
Luckily, Jenny was able to find the perfect doctor that would push her beyond her stubbornness and would make her eat food that would raise her calories again. “Once I admitted that I had a problem, we were so lucky and we found this one doctor who wanted to help. He was the reason why I initially started to get better. If it wasn’t for him, I would have had to have been hospitalized,” Jenny said.
The doctor told her that if she didn’t put on 20 pounds before tenth grade and didn’t become a healthy weight, she wouldn’t be allowed to tryout for the swim team again. Jenny said, “For me, that was devastating because I felt like the swim team were my people and that’s where I fit into in high school. I felt like being in a group helped show who I am. So the thought of not having that was terrifying.”
That summer, Jenny was put on bed rest and if she exercised, she would have been at risk of a heart attack. Another part of her regiment was to eat 3,500 calories per day, which for her was an insane amount. She told her doctor, “If you’re going to make me eat this, it’s all going to be healthy, or otherwise I am not doing it.” Jenny told me, “I was the most stubborn patient he has ever worked with.”
Despite this, Jenny ended up putting on more weight and something that she looked forward to every was ordering a Dunkin' Donuts coffee coolatta every morning and later in the day, a freeze from Friendly’s and some peanut butter on the side.
“When you start feeding your body it does all of these weird things so when I started giving myself more food, I actually was loosing weight again because your body is all out of whack. Once I put on more weight, I was emotionally feeling a little bit better because your mind can’t think straight when you are malnourished. But there was still so much anxiety around it,” Jenny said.
The biggest reason why she ended up turning her life around and improving was because of the love for her family. “My family are the most supportive people and I am so blessed to have them. My family dynamic was completely messed up. My brother and I are best friends now, but he hated me just because my whole family couldn’t help me. It was all something I had to do and to watch me struggle and hurt myself and for them not to be able to do anything that killed them. So I got better because I love them We are so close as a family,” Jenny said.
Fast forward to college, Jenny is a singer in the Fairfield University Glee Club and is a part of the dance assemble.
“I think it has made me comfortable in my own body. For two years, I literally got up on stage and tap danced and sang in front of a ton of people. That is who I am, that energetic person on stage who likes to just have fun. Glee Club reminds me of that person that I want to be and really am. So when I get down on myself and have a harder day, it’s nice to have that reminder that not everyday is like this. You are not a tired sad person all the time, you are a happy energetic person,” Jenny said.
Jenny is also a fitness instructor at the RecPlex. “I used to have an exercise compulsion with the eating disorder. I can confidently say that I no longer have that. I like to remind people in my fitness classes that you are just here to do your best and your best on one day might not be your best as a mother day. When you exercise, it should be fun.” Jenny teaches kick boxing on Wednesdays at 12:00pm.
However, there is not a day that goes by when she doesn’t think about relapsing. Jenny pulled out a necklace that she was wearing and told me, “I always wear this necklace, This is the eating disorder recovery sign necklace. I never take it off and it reminds me of how far I have come. and to remind myself I know I can do it.”
While Jenny has been on roller coaster ride, her main goal is to help others stay on the right course. “I want people to know that I will be there for them. If they don’t think that they have anyone else, then I will be there for them, even if they never met me. I will be their first person because life is good and when you’re struggling with this it’s hard to see that, but it really is and no one should have to have this dictate your life.”
