Summer vacation means being back home. At first you are so happy and excited but after a few weeks you really can’t stand being back in your parent’s house with your mom checking up on you every 10 minutes…
So, to escape your parents you go hang out with your hometown friends. More than likely you made these friends in high school. If you are like me, you go to school far from home. Far enough that not a single friend of mine is within a reasonable range for hanging out. And, even if you do go to school in your hometown, your friends you have made in college might not be, so you hang out with your high school friends anyway.
You have some fun catching up with your high school friends but it just isn’t the same…
Now don’t get me wrong, I love all my friends from high school. I really, really do. In fact, one of my friends has been my friend since second grade. Obviously that has to mean something! But I will never be as close with my high school friends as I will be with my college friends, despite knowing each other for a shorter time.
Here are the reasons your college friends are significantly better than your high school friends:
In college you aren’t “forced” to hang out with anyone.
Everyone had that one friend in high school that they weren’t actually friends with. You only hung out with them because they always seemed to be with your best friends everywhere you went. In college, you really don’t have that. Sure your friends might be friends with people you don’t get along with, but it’s just different. You aren’t obligated to associate with anyone you don’t like in college, and chances are your friends know and respect that because they feel the same way about one of your friends. Add that with the fact there is a larger pool of friends to choose from, and that nobody knows your business… your college friends are all going to be people who complement you and you want to be friends with. Not forced to be friends with.
You literally live with your college friends.
Whether you room with your best friends or not, you still in a sense “live” with your college friends. (This is especially true when you make friends freshmen year because you are away from family and become “family” with your new found friends.) Running to the grocery store? Bring your friends. Watching TV? Bring your friends. Going to eat dinner? Bring your friends. Chances are you will never, ever spend this much time with your old high school friends. This makes you significantly closer with your college friends.
College is a weird time in your life.
Where is home? Is it home? Or is it school? College is a transitional period in many people’s lives and is quite different from any other thing you will ever experience. The farther through college you are, the weirder it becomes. You are becoming an adult, but also still are not fully one yet. You start to live on your own and become independent (but not really because you actually rely on your friends to go everywhere with you… see #2). At the same time, you still call mom when you don’t know how to make oatmeal and you don’t wake up before 10am. You also have more stress than you have ever had before, and possibly ever will again. (*Insert adult arguing life is more stressful here*) College is just weird. If you become friends with someone in such a weird point in your life, you become closer with them, it’s practically science. If they can get through these weird and stressful times with you it’s no wonder your high school friends will pale in comparison.
The further from home you are the harder it is to maintain relationships.
This was especially tough for me. I’m 5 hours from home when I am at school, but most of my friends stayed at home. They all stayed pretty close during these years. I was off doing my own thing, and barely able to visit. When I did, I almost felt like an outcast. They all had inside jokes that I wasn’t a part of, they all were caught up and I wasn’t. This made it difficult for me to stay close with them, even if I did try to. I am still friends with all of them but it is just different. Chances are, even if you stayed home for college like my friends did, you will grow apart with a handful of your high school friends, too. Maybe they went to school far away, or they just hang out with new people in college and you don’t see them as often. Somehow, college graduates don’t seem to have this issue. Any time I see alumni meet up, it appears as if no time has passed at all. I can’t seem to figure out how… but someday when I am an alumni I will let you all know the secret. I bet it’s because your college friends are way better than your high school friends, though!
You change tremendously in college.
Who I was the day I graduated high school is practically a stranger to me now. I have changed even from the beginning of my junior year of college to now. Again, it’s that whole becoming an adult, figuring the world out for yourself and being independent thing. Plus, you are also expanding your knowledge of both academics and the world while in college. It makes you grow up, and grow as a person. While you are changing, it’s no wonder that you may realize you aren’t much like your high school friends anymore. However, when you grow up alongside your friends from college, you grow together which will only bring you closer. My best friends in college know far more about me than I even know myself. I don’t think I could say the same about any of my best friends during my high school years. I also am unsure whether or not I will ever make friends after college that will know me so well, but I suppose only time will tell.
Chances are your college town is more fun than your hometown.
Now this may be a shock to some. I grew up in a suburb about 15 minutes outside of a city. There is plenty to do here. Yet somehow, I always feel more bored here than I do at school. At school your friends will find just about anything to do or try. College is about trying new things and fun adventures. When I am with my high school friends it seems as though we do just about the same things we did in high school. Sometimes we might venture out to a bar or two, but that’s about it. It seems that in my college town everything I do with those friends is much more exciting. For a lot of people, their college town is even bigger than mine, and maybe their hometown is much smaller. I would say that tends to be the majority. And with these students it is even more apparent that there is just more fun to be had with their college friends.
Now, I’m not saying just ditch your high school friends. You have been friends this long for a reason! But I do believe your college friends have a much larger impact on your life than the people you meet as a teenager. Maybe you agree, and maybe you don’t. But one thing is certain, you probably miss your college friends right now.