Let me start off by saying, I honestly disliked high school. Mind you, I was a pretty decent student. I got decent grades, I was involved in sports and clubs, I had pretty good attendance, and I was on great terms with every teacher whose class I was in. However, I didn't like high school. I didn't like being there. I didn't like feeling like I didn't have a voice. I didn't like that one of the most important functions of a student body (i.e. class president, VP, reps, etc, and in the case of my school, co-mayor) was always a popularity contest, and never a "who-can-do-the-best-job" contest. I didn't like the ridiculous double standards for girls and boys.

With insane dress code violations and bullying videos, posts, blogs, and photos running rampant on the internet, I figured I'd compile a list of firsthand accounts from high school students on how they feel they (or a situation) was mistreated. Please note that all accounts were volunteer only, so any high school or gender bias is strictly coincidental. Some entries may have been edited for length.

Olivia Judge, Batavia High School, Junior/Senior Year

"My entire life was here."

"Well when my parents told me we were moving to my grandma's and that I had to transfer, I immediately began accepting the fact that I was going to have to leave my friends. But then my best friend Alayna made a joke "just move in with me". Obviously, we just laughed it off because what's the possibility? But then she actually asked her mom, and Rachel said yes. I knew there was no way my parents would ever allow that, but I brought it up anyways. To my surprise, they actually said I could. My mom was so determined to keep me in *the special program I was in* [the name has been removed for anonymitiy] for as long as possible. If me moving in with Alayna was going to keep me in the program, she'd do it. She'd do anything to keep me in it. The school wasn't that easy to convince, though. Living with Alayna without Rachel being my guardian wasn't allowed, so they gave me options. I could either: A) transfer sole custody from my mom and dad to Rachel, B) pay roughly $10,000 in tuition to attend Batavia High School, C) graduate early, or D) transfer to Alden. I chose to graduate early. I made friends here, my whole life was here. I wasn't about to give that up in my junior year of high school. I was supposed to be a junior, graduating in 2018 with my friends. But here I am, being forced into using the grandfather clause, graduating with people I barely even know. I'm so exhausted."

For clarification, the grandfather clause is a clause that states that students with out of district parents are free to attend the high school, however, this option is only available for seniors who have grown up entirely in the district.

Anonymous, Batavia High School, Junior Year

"I almost got a referral for walking out during a panic attack."

"I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I get extreme anxiety and panic attacks almost every other day. It started at school and I needed to tell the school in order to get accommodations. Except there were none. Teachers wouldn't let me leave the classroom when I was having an attack and I almost got a referral for walking out during a panic attack. Schools do not properly accommodate mental illness even when aware of a situation; which they were of mine. "

I asked if there was any more information that they wanted to include, to which they responded

"When I started to have attacks, I wrote all my teachers an email explaining my situation and what occurs during an attack and what they could do to help. 2 teachers didn't bother to read the email. 2 didn't respond but read it. And two others read it, responded, but weren't sure how to exactly help. All I asked was to be allowed to step out to catch my breath and emotional balance. One teacher allowed this. My other teacher, however, did not. They said it was against school rules and that I would have to get a special accommodation through special ed in order for that to work. So I had an attack. I was sitting in class and I felt it start to happen. I felt nauseous, shaky, sweaty, like I just wanted to get up and run all the way home. So I walked out of the classroom and sat on the floor and cried. I didn't go anywhere but there to collect myself and then went back in the room. The next day I was met with a referral which I had to get vetoed by the Assistant Principal. "

Lacey Sloat, Byron-Bergen High School, Junior Year

"I never wore anything that exposed anything but...I was an honor student...therefore couldn't wear tank tops even if they were two fingers wide "

One particular thing that stands out is the fucking dress code. The amount of times I was sent to the office or told to put on a jacket was insane. I never wore anything that exposed anything but bc I was an honor student, I was held to a higher standard and therefore couldn't wear tank tops even if they were two fingers wide, I couldn't wear v necks even though I could only dream of boobs and cleavage back then. However, girls that were not honor students and had developed more than I had were able to wear spaghetti straps and booty shorts bc that's what was expects of them, to break the rules and dress sexy bc they weren't smart anyway. I believe it was my junior year...Anyway, it was warm enough to not need to bundle but not warm enough for shorts...I picked out a white, long sleeved v neck shirt. The v barely came past my collar bone so it didn't show anything...A pair of black shorts that were barely "long enough" i.e. finger tip length but they completely covered my ass cheeks and I had worn them to school before. A pair of black tights under the shorts and leg warmers along with black heels that were about an inch and a half high...I was literally covered neck down with the exception of my hands. By the time second period rolled around, I was in select chorus...and got notified by the teacher that I was to go to the main office. I didn't break a sweat. I didn't usually get called down to the office and when I did it was either bc my mom dropped something off that I had forgotten or my sibling was ill and they needed me to take something home for them...When I got there I was called into *I think she was the assistant principal???* I don't remember her title now....Anyway, and she closed the door and sat behind her desk. At this point, I knew something was up. She began talking to be about how I needed to dress appropriately for school and how my outfit was a distraction to those around me. I calmly asked her what about the ensemble was breaking the dress code. She pointed out that my shorts were too short and that I shouldn't be wearing heels. I said that I knew the shorts were short but that is why I had paired them with the tights underneath and I had 'tested' them to make sure I wouldn't be exposed even if I were to bend over. She then gave me a speech about how I needed to follow the rules that were set before me and I had to go home to change. At this point I got upset. I had seen many other girls that day wearing clothes that showed more skin than I, and none of them were in the office getting this speech while missing out on their education. And that is when she told me that those other girls were fine to carry on with their days, they would either be talked to later or not at all. I was an honor student, therefore I was held to a higher standard and should dress better than students who were in co-taught classes or special ed. EXCUSE ME?!? What does a person's academic standing or ability have to do with the dress code? And why does my honor status put a target on my back? A student that never gets detention, never turns an assignment in late, is involved in music, arts and sports, WHY WHY WHY am I the one pulled from my class and told to change my clothes? No answer to any of these questions. I also didn't have my own cell phone at the time so I had to go and use a school phone to call home to have my parent bring me a change of clothes. My mother was ill that day and was unable to bring me what I needed. So I called my dad who had to leave his job to drive home and navigate my closet to find "appropriate" clothing for me and then drive to the school to deliver it for me. ALL WHILE I SAT IN THE OFFICE AND NOT IN A CLASSROOM. By the time all was said and done, I had a hoodie, jeans, and sneakers to cover any indication that I had a body under it. I had also missed all of my music class and my class that had followed and was late to fourth period. I was embarrassed for trying a new style. I was ashamed for being a 'good kid'/honor student. I felt guilty for waking up my mom when she was sick and making my father leave work to bring me clothes. And I was now behind in class. All because of shorts and heels."

Anonymous, Batavia High School, 7th Grade through Senior Year

"The school had absolutely zero sympathy or understanding that I was trying to put my mental health first."

"I have a situation I've always wanted to get off my chest that happened, but if there is any possible way I can remain anonymous, I would like to. I was diagnosed with severe depression and severe anxiety when I was in 7th grade and all throughout middle school and high school I have struggled with getting school work done, taking tests and staying in class when I was consistently having panic attacks and sitting in the counseling center for hours on end trying to make them stop. I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD, and my counselor KNOWS how hard these past few years have been for me. Even at home, trying to get homework done when I'm having these anxiety attacks me with my ADHD and not being organized didn't help either. The school had absolutely zero sympathy or understanding that I was trying to put my mental health first. I have missed days of school because I would either be up all night with severe panic attacks or I would wake up and have one. One day, I was in an appointment with my out of school counselor, and I was explaining all my struggles with school and my mental health was constantly declining because MOST, not all teachers felt their homework was more important than my well-being and she goes "well don't you have a 504 plan or and IEP?" I said "no" then she continued to explain that BY LAW the counselors at both the middle school and, if it didn't happen in middle school, then the high school, as soon as I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD, were BY LAW supposed to help me set up a 504 or IEP plan so that school wouldn't be so tough. I had no idea any of this existed until the middle of my senior year. And the teachers and counselors have watched me continually struggle every year since 7th grade and clearly did not care enough to help me. My mental health has only got worse and worse throughout the years and it got to a point where I missed a week and a half of school because the thought of going in and seeing my teachers and having them tell me my grades are horrible because at night I try to calm my anxiety enough to maybe get 2 hours of sleep because on top of everything I also have severe insomnia where some night I get 3 hours of sleep, some nights I get none, some nights I get about a half hour, instead of finishing the 3-4 hours of homework I'm assigned every day."

For clarification:

IEP - "The Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) is a plan or program developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives specialized instruction and related services." -http://www.washington.edu/doit/what-difference-bet...

504 - "The 504 Plan is a plan developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives accommodations that will ensure their academic success and access to the learning environment." -http://www.washington.edu/doit/what-difference-bet...

Makennah Aquino, Batavia High School, Junior Year

"They just broke a HIPPA law: You CANNOT speak of someone's health without clear consent - even to family."

"I was supposed to be a junior. As you know, I had a lot of health issues and my GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) had completely taken over my life. I was very close to dropping out and was just a month away from learning about APEX, which thankfully helped me graduate on time. My anxiety would get so bad, my body would have physical reactions to even walking out of my house at a point: Fainting, breaking out in hives, hyperventilating, etc. Well, one day, my sister who was a freshman had walked into the nurse's office and they asked a question about me: "Why is your sister never here?" First of all, family or not, they just broke a HIPPA law: You CANNOT speak of someone's health without clear consent - even to family. My sister, curious and intimidated, replied. "Her anxiety disorder. She can't even leave the house without shaking. Nothing's helping and she's currently trying to find her own ways of coping." To this, the nurse replies with: "Your sister isn't really sick, she NEEDS to come to school. It's ridiculous that she doesn't. She's probably faking it." Bam. My sister came home and immediately told me and my mother. My mother was infuriated beyond words and I broke down into a hyperventilating mess. I couldn't believe someone would ever think I would fake something that had taken over my life and taken my teenhood and high school experiences away. I was taken out of volleyball freshman year, and chorale and musical sophomore year. I was heartbroken. My mother called and the nurse had the nerve to get snarky, and even claimed many other teachers had said the same. I couldn't believe it and my mother was even more upset, so she went to the superiors. Let's just say: It was NOT handled how it should've been. The nurse didn't get so much as a slap on the wrist and no apology was given to me. This nurse is now head of the nursing of the school district in fact; she got a promotion. For the rest of my high school education, I was deathly afraid to go to the nurse for anything, or even go to anyone for my anxiety disorder. I still am. Would they think the same? Was that how people saw me due to a mental illness invisible to the naked eye? That I was just a liar?"

For clarification, HIPAA stands for the Health Insurance Probability and Accountability Act.

The section being referred to in reference to non-disclosable information can be found here; on page 746 of the Code of Federal Regulations Title 45: Public Welfare.

Changes need to be made in high schools. With more and more students having access to health care, and proper mental health diagnoses, schools need to be better prepared to deal with those issues. Also, sexist and biased dress codes need to be amended and repaired. Despite what you believe about global warming, it is consistently getting warmer, and warmer out every year. For girls not to be able to wear shorts or tank tops is becoming unacceptable. Lastly, in the case of Olivia Judge, almost every high school has at least one, if not multiple, program(s) in place to help the "bad kids" get better, but there are hardly any programs in place to help the "good kids" when they're in a tough spot. If you have ever been in a situation similar to these, you are not alone. It may seem tough right now, but there is someone who has been where you are.

mentalhelp.net says:

"Anxiety in teenagers is becoming more common as they face the mounting pressures of schoolwork, college preparation, first jobs, social activities, and becoming an adult, on top of any issues they may face with their families at home. Both children and parents can call this hotline 24/7 for free crisis intervention services, plus information and referrals to valuable mental health resources. Email, text, and online chat-based services are also available.

Teen Line: 1-310-855-HOPE (4673) or 1-800-TLC-TEEN (852-8336)

Another valuable resource for young adults facing anxiety, Teen Line offers teen-to-teen counseling services available between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. PST. Callers can talk to one of their peers about what they’re going through and learn strategies that have helped other young people just like them. The service is also available by texting “TEEN” to 839863, as well as via email and message boards."