Friendship. It's defined as the state of being attached to another person by feelings of affection or personal regard, but what really is friendship? Is it that occasional hallway talk with that one person who always manages to cheer you up? Is it that relationship you have with someone where they can be gone for a long period of time, but when they come back, it's like they never left? Is it spending every waking hour with someone, and knowing every detail about their life? Is it the relationship that's filled with fighting, but filled with even more resolution? I've learned that it's all of these things, and every friendship is different. It's a beautifully dysfunctional mess that should always be cherished and never be taken for granted.
Friendship can help you get through tough times, but it can also cause tough times. The crazy thing is, the same friendship can do both. You might be wondering how this is possible, but trust me, it's not as far fetched as you think. All it takes is one small action to cause a friendship to make a complete U-turn and go into a downward spiral. The scary thing about this is that it might turn back around, or it might not; friendships are completely unpredictable.
Another thing I've learned about friendship is that it's a total wild card. You can find your greatest friendships in the most unlikely places, like in your desk group in fourth grade when you didn't have many friends and needed someone to talk to, in an awkward conversation in your third period class on the first day of freshman year, or in the car ride home from play practice that you desperately needed because your parents couldn't pick you up.
Some friendships you've just always had and don't really know where they started, like with people from your church or with family friends whom you've always known. None of these friendships are more important than the others, they just all began in completely different ways. On the other hand, friendships can come to an end for a variety of sad and unlikely reasons. Sometimes friends grow apart, and there's not much you can do about it; unfortunately, it just happens. It could be a slow and gradual thing that you see coming, or it could completely blindside you and leave you wondering what went wrong. In some cases, you find out that your friend was never really a friend at all. This ending typically takes the biggest toll on a person, but leaves them better off in the long run. This type of friendship is completely toxic, and should have never happened in the first place.
Although friendship is commonly associated with positive things, not all friendships are good for a person. Friendship should never be one sided, but far too often, it is. You can make sacrifices and put everything you have into a friendship, and your friend still might never do a single thing for it. Some people take it a step further; they'll not only fail to contribute to the friendship, they'll do things to destroy it. They'll talk about you behind your back or even ridicule you to your face without hesitation. These "friends" will do everything they can to tear you down and make you feel like a lesser person. If your "friends" treat you like a punching bag, then they're not really friends at all; they're bullies. These people use your loss of self confidence to boost their own, so you should never take what they say to heart; you can't give them the satisfaction of successfully tearing you down. The things they say are wrong with you are the faults they see in themselves and their own insecurities.
So, I guess the big question is, why do we put ourselves through this and continue to be friends with this person? Well the answer to that is actually quite simple. The person has convinced us that we're nothing without them. We think that if we stop being friends with this person, we won't have any friends because we're so awful nobody would ever want to be around us. This game of psychological warfare has been going on for so long that our chances of actually working up the courage to leave this person are slim to none, thus allowing this toxic friend to keep their confidence crutch close. This type of friendship, if not dealt with accordingly, can be detrimental to a person. This toxic friendship is one of the main reasons why we need true friends in our life.
True friends are extremely hard to find, which makes having a true friend even more special. True friends are like puzzle pieces; even though they're nothing alike, they somehow fit together, creating a beautiful masterpiece that is completely unique. A true friend is the person that you never get sick of; you can spend every minute of every day with this person, and you still get excited every time you see them. It's the person that your family loves and claims as their own. The person who you know will always have your back and listen to your problems. The person who you can truly be yourself around because they love you for you. True friendship is one of the most important things in a person's life. When your life is constantly changing, it's the one consistent thing you have.
Your true friends are like the calm in the storm.
They're like a breath of fresh air when everything around you is going up in flames. Although true friends could possibly be the only thing keeping you sane, at the same time, they can drive you crazy. This happens when they make you eat healthy, go to the gym, or really do anything you don't want to do but know you really should do. This is another amazing thing about true friends; they always push you to be the best version of yourself. They love you and always want what's best for you, despite the fact that at times, you don't even want what's best for yourself. In addition to this, a true friend is also your number one fan. In everything you do, true friends will always be on the front row, cheering you on. They constantly shower you with endless love and support. All of this proves the most important thing I've learned about true friends; a true friend is your "person." I know that being called someone's "person" is a cheesy, outdated term, but its the best way to describe a true friend, or more specifically, your best friend.
Your best friend knows everything about you, from your favorite color to your medical history; this person knows you better than anyone else does. Also, best friends always know how to cheer you up, whether it be your favorite food or a reminder of the endless inside jokes that the two of you share. A best friend makes the hard parts of life a lot easier and the good parts even better. They're the one person you want by your side through thick and thin; you always wonder what you did before you met them and how you would ever live without them. Despite all of this, I know that every friendship is different, and you might not have been able to relate to a single thing I've said, but there is one thing I've found remains true in every pair of best friends. Your best friend is the one person you love most in the world.
