As far back as I can remember, I've had anxiety.
Although no fault the parents, being raised in a fast-paced, military, and authoritative-style parenting household only continued this behavior throughout my life. Each family vacation was carefully planned, itineraries made documenting each item necessary for a successful family camping trip (although they rarely ever ended up that way).
So let it be no surprise to me when I ended up becoming a 21-year-old ball of constant growing anxiety and turmoil. AKA, the high-functioning anxiety disorder came as no shock when I was old enough to distinguish what it was. (We can also justifiably blame genetics too, so we can avoid the nature vs. nurture debate on that one).
"Ladies: find someone who truly doesn't mind if you changed your mind last minute and want to order Chinese take-out instead of fancy Italian food..."
So what is the magic trait in a partner when you find yourself with the constant state(s) of unnecessary and/or unwanted anxiety?
Find a partner who doesn't care.
When I say this, the wrong message can be easily interpreted.
So, let me explain further.
Ladies: find someone who doesn't care about what you post, what you wear, who doesn't care what time you two get to the party, someone who truly doesn't mind if you changed your mind last minute and want to order Chinese take-out instead of fancy Italian food (let's be real… crab rangoon always trumps a 100$ food check). Find someone who has enough trust in the foundation and team you've built together that they feel no need to pay mind to stupid things.
Finding someone like this allowed me to find how to use my stress and anxiety to "fuel the hamster wheel" during the day and be productive, yet allowed me to "unplug" at home with a sense of complete and utter peace of mind of having no immediate stress.
Because of this, rest assured that when I fill him in on the plans for a 2019 Summer Girls Trip, he doesn't sweat! That information isn't shared by requirement, but just because our little plant of a marriage tends to thrive on communication like that.
Besides… let's be real… I'm sure he'll be missing me oh so bad fishing in a creek with a beer in hand while I'm gone. ;-)