He and I have been dating for almost three and a half years. We have been blissfully (for the most part) in love, forever texting each other and sending each other information about our lives.
But there is one big secret about us: My parents are ignorant of my (very serious) relationship.
Whenever I tell my friends that, they are extremely surprised. Questions get asked like how I managed to keep it from them. But the biggest one they have asked me is "why?" Everyone seems to be baffled by my reluctance to tell my parents, the two people who gave me life, about the love of my life.
I give them the short reason: I just don't want to. It's my life, so it's my decision. (Plus, he isn't pushing for meeting them either). But most of the time, I just shrug my shoulders, smile, and ask them a question about their life so I can avoid elaborating.
But I feel like it's high time I come clean, even if it isn't directly to my parents.
The biggest reason I keep my relationship secret is because I don't want them to ruin it.
I don't want them to judge him for where he goes to college. I don't want them to judge him for his cultural background. I don't want them to judge him for his personality. I don't want them to judge him.
People will counteract that with, "Well, if you love him, then you will just ignore those judgments." If only it was that easy.
Yes, I love him. Immensely. I based half of my high school years on him and I regret none of it. But it's also my parents. We are all our parents children and, let's be real, we want their approval. I want it more than others. I have spent my entire life trying to make them happy, preventing them from being disappointed in me and wanting them to love me for who I am, not who they wish I could be. And I know they will be extremely disappointed in my choice of a boyfriend. How do I know that, you ask?
Well, when I went back home for the summer, they kept pushing me to finding a good boy at Amherst College. They see Amherst College as one of the best places near me to find a boyfriend. But I'm sorry, that isn't how it works.
My relationship is beautiful to me. He makes me laugh. He makes me be realistic with my goals. He loves me despite my physical, mental and emotional flaws. And until something happens like moving in with him, I will continually hiding my relationship from my parents.
I am, I'm sure, not the only person out there who might be hiding from their parents something important in their life. If I was to give one piece of advice, it would be this: It's hard. It's truly hard to hide something important from your life from your parents. But, just like how Allison DiLaurentis ("Pretty Little Liars") is taught, if you believe in your lie enough, it will be seen as true.
No, I am not advocating for lying to your parents. I am advocating that you have a right to not divulge your entire life to your parents. Yes, they gave birth to you. They provide for you, but you are also your own human being; you make your own decisions.
I regret nothing. I love my boyfriend and he loves me back. Together, we will make it work, no matter what kind of mountains we have to climb, be it Everest, or one of Seattle's hills.
