"hide and seek"
years of absence
and presence at the same time.
I've destroyed myself wondering how that can be -
how you can be everywhere I look
and nowhere to be seen at the same time?
it's funny how
you're there in every
second guess,
self-deprecating joke,
third helping,
morning dosage,
aluminum can,
tattoo,
crumpled piece of paper,
thick bloody smile,
and
every
fleeting frozen fragmented thought
but they tell me this is
unhealthy
these are the places you
don't belong.
For a while I am killing it then all of sudden BAM! I crash and burn out. My goal is to avoid this for the coming year. Taking care of myself needs to become a priority. I cannot be used or fully get everything out of my education if I am not taking care of myself mentally.
Here are some ways I plan to take care of myself:
Today I am Grateful Journal
Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash
Having a way to record everything going on is a major way I clear my head. For some reason when I am anxious and overwhelmed writing it down decreases my anxiety about the issue.
Go to the gym
StableDiffusion
I know everyone says they are going to go to the gym for their new year's resolution and unfortunately a commitment like that is not always realistic. I hope including the gym in my overall goal of self-care will make it possible to achieve.
Listen to more music
Photo by Lee Campbell on Unsplash
Music is a major relaxer to me clears my head and brings me back to what I really need to be focused on.
Have more patience
StableDiffusion
I need to be more patient and think my decisions through. So goal of mine is to be more in the moment and not always be so ready to plan the future.
This is the blessing in disguise of all of the madness of having a birthday near Christmas. You get a lot of gifts, birthday and Christmas combine together to be a big gathering and gifts for everyone!!
The most used phrase for anyone who has a birthday remotely near the holidays. The convenience for someone to buy one gift is great for them, but sometimes it would be nice to have some separation between your birthday gifts and your Christmas gifts.
Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins, EVERYONE is there to help you celebrate your birthday. Being surrounded by family on your special day is great.
If your birthday is near the holidays you probably understand this: a birthday party is basically non-existent for you. A birthday party near the holidays means little to no guest attendance because of holiday travels or possibly bad roads on the day of your birthday. You will probably get the "how was your birthday?" or "what did you do to celebrate your birthday, did you have a party?" The answer is you probably did not.
All I ever wanted for my birthday was for it to snow. I love when it snows on my birthday; it is so magical to me to have a beautiful white blanket of snow glittering across the land.
There is probably a large possibility that if it does snow on your birthday and it's bad, you probably won't be going anywhere. So be ready to hunker down with just your immediate family and not plan on getting on the roads. But you can sled on your birthday!!!
Lights, lights everywhere!!! The land is festive, magical and exciting, it truly feels wonderful to see so much joy in the air.
If you love food as much as I do, family Christmas on your birthday is a little slice of heaven!!!! Food everywhere!! All of your favorites, plus the festive holiday treats and candy that you only get near the holiday season (hello Christmas cookies!!)!!!
Your excuse for over-eating could be that it's Christmas AND your birthday, so you have a lot to celebrate.
Though having a birthday party near the holidays can be rough, it is wonderful to share it with someone as wonderful as my Dad. Some might say it's a burden to share such as a special day with someone, but it's truly a blessing for me. Plus, I'm the coolest birthday present he has ever gotten.
Enjoy this holiday season and don't forget your friends and family who have birthday nears this festive time.
