Confidence is defined as "a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something," or " a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something," (dictionary.com).
When you're growing up, everyone tells you to have confidence in yourself, but sometimes in order to have that confidence, you need some help. Most people turn to makeup, using different pigments and tones to make themselves feel beautiful, and others have surgeries. Implants, bone reconfiguration, perhaps even reductions of things, but when was the last time you heard one person compliment another on their cosmetic surgery?
Society often tells us that natural beauty is true beauty. That being said, it also shows us men and women who are thin and look naturally (or more often times, computer-generated naturally) beautiful. So, where does that leave everyone else? Do we flaunt ourselves naturally, or use makeup and surgeries to make us feel beautiful, but less natural?
A good friend of mine recently had cosmetic surgery, a surgery that started out as something medical and not cosmetic at all. I remember very clearly how she told me she was about to undergo an operation. As I was trying to wing my eyeliner, she turns to me and says,
"Heather, don't judge me, but..."
She told me that she needed a septoplasty, an operation to correct a deviated septum and allow her to breathe more air through her nose, in a more natural and healthy way. Her nerves kicked in when her father had the same operation, but his nasal canal managed to reform to the constricted airway it was before the surgery in a matter of weeks. This was because his nose itself was not reconstructed, and the airways were easy to reform to how they had been with no structural change.
For her, this meant things could go the same way. She could have her nasal canal cleared and breathe properly, but she may need operation after operation. That was when the doctor also recommended she get the rhinoplasty along with the septoplasty.
A rhinoplasty, as many people know, is commonly referred to as a nose job. Most people hear nose job and automatically assume that person is lesser. Their nose isn't their natural nose, and therefore, for some reason, this makes them not as good. TV and movies often make jokes about women who had cosmetic surgery, and even the media often looks down on a person whose face or body isn't entirely theirs.
My friend-- one of my closest and dearest friends-- was worried I'd judge her for needing a nose job to help her medically. Even now, that seems ridiculous. She wasn't getting a nose job for the hell of it, and even if she were, I wouldn't judge her. She was getting it so she could breathe normally. This made me wonder why cosmetic surgery is looked down upon so much in the first place.
Before her nose job, she has a small bump on the bridge of her nose. She told me she'd often put her hand on it in class, just in case someone looked at her from the side and saw the bump. Even though this was something natural, it was something she was insecure about. Once, while talking about makeup, she even told me that she could never put makeup on her nose (though she wanted to) because she was too afraid to call attention to it.
Now, she wonders why she hadn't gotten the operations sooner. Both to breathe, and because she likes the way she looks now. She doesn't worry that her nose stands out on her face like a pine tree in a desert, and she doesn't worry about people judging her on the size and shape of her nose. She gained the confidence that she wanted from a small, small change.
So why do we hate cosmetic surgery with such a genuine, burning passion? Isn't the goal in life to be happy? I'm not saying to go under the knife until you're the perfect barbie doll. In fact, I'm a firm believer in loving yourself for who you are. Just because you dislike the way your thighs look, doesn't mean you have to get them reduced surgically, and just because you don't like your cheekbones doesn't mean you need injections.
If someone dislikes a part of themselves so much to the point of wanting surgery, why hate on them for it? If they change a part of themselves they've hated their whole lives and get the bounce of confidence they needed to love every other aspect of themselves, why make them feel bad for the change?
In my friend's case, her cosmetic surgery was almost entirely for medical reasons, but the confidence she got out of it is priceless. Maybe the woman teased for getting Botox hated the way she looked with a saggy jaw line, but now she feels confident about all of her because of a small change. At the same time, maybe a woman the same age with a saggy jaw line loves how she looks, and owns her age and how she looks.
Overall, if you hate something with a burning passion, there shouldn't be shame in getting it changed. But there also shouldn't be any shame in imperfections. Always, always try to love yourself for who you are, but if your best friend comes to you with a few extra eyelashes will make you feel like you're a rock star, don't make them feel like they're the worst person for wanting to feel better about something they absolutely couldn't love.
