I can personally testify to being 'this friend' that isn't afraid to give tough love in place of sugar coated reasons or excuses in certain situations. In my opinion, tough love doesn't or shouldn't always be at the tip of your tongue when someone needs comfort or empathy, for it can come off stern or harsh. But, I do believe that it is essential and should be a part of that balance that individuals carry with them. Below is a handful of common phrases used to express love in an alternative way -- an alternative way that is meant to help the individual receiving the touch of love, potentially grow.
"It is what it is."
Is an indication or "state of potentiality" where you are comfortable or have accepted the way things are, will be, or have been.
"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
Refers to, not doing what seems the most beneficial first-hand. It's hard to go against that 'popular opinion' where you stand up and fight for everything that comes your way. A good example is friendships. Sometimes 'doing what is best for us' may even refer to letting go of a friend we never thought we would live without but is extremely toxic to our well-being.
"You cannot save everyone."
Is almost like a "road not taken". People can often time be addicted to helping. Helping is good, so please don't get me wrong. But, the gist of this phrase is to clarify that there is only so much we can do as human beings. Our capabilities and potentialities, unfortunately sometimes come with limitations.
"You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions."
No matter how hard you try, you simply can't. If he/she does not see a problem in their behaviors and actions, then don't expect for there to be a difference. What I have learned in this kind of situation is that these kinds of people will become so enthralled in their ways that they no longer know how to obtain the capability to change. So, don't beat yourself up and just be happy you aren't like that.
"Life is tough, my darling, but so are you."
Uhhh, yes it definitely can be. Life can often times treat us pretty rough. But, you, me, we, are tough. We work through the pain and struggles, and come out the other side, having done all that has been asked of us, and more.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
This phrase should almost be used a guidance force. Coming from a student's perspective, success isn't always easy. There is a need to adjust, modify, or enhance our plans for us to get where we want to be. In other words, don't take the easy way out of things. Challenge yourself so that you can grow and prosper in experience and knowledge.
"Stars can't shine without darkness"
Evil, darkness, toxicity, competition etc. are all examples of what darkness could entail. Not everyone agrees with this philosophy, but sometimes it is that darkness that allows us 'toughen' up like stated earlier. When it comes to competition, imagine Usain Bolt. If all other Olympians were as fast and swift as he was, would he still be the star he is today? No, I don't believe so. He would just be average. He would not be shining.
"No matter the situation, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence."
Being emotionally intelligent is pretty essential. Once this is obtained you start to strive with personal qualities such as self-control, skill, and perseverance.
"Learn to say 'no' without explaining yourself."
Some of our troubles in life can sometimes be traced back to times where we blurted out a 'yes' instead of a 'no'. The answer 'no' has somehow been stereotyped by our societies as a negative or bad word. But I choose to believe that it isn't. But unfortunately, whenever we do say 'no' as a response we indulge into the process of explaining ourselves and giving reasons as to why we basically didn't say 'yes'. What we need to keep in mind is that 'no' is a complete sentence.
"Feeling are just visitors, let them come and go."
This does not mean that you are emotionally unavailable or withheld. Feelings are temporary, period. They stop by after an incident has happened or you are going through a situation. But those feelings and moments do not define who you are or your life, so don't let them permanently stay.
What I love about these phrases or quotes are the deeper and hidden meanings behind them that in the end are very helpful when understood.
