Hey, you,

Long time, no talk, it seems. Why do I feel like you've been avoiding this conversation? Why do I feel like you've been desperately trying to run away from me? I mean, let's face it. You're not going to get very far. After all, I am you. So just sit down, for five minutes. Sit down and listen to the words you desperately need to hear because you and I both know you aren't going to listen to anyone else. Sit down, breathe and hear me. It's my turn to speak.

First of all, I get it. Trust me, I really do. You needed this month-long break from school — and life in general — to regroup and collect yourself since you were just falling apart come the end of the year. But come on now. Get your act together. You are more than capable of achieving everything you wanted for yourself for this new year. Stop over sleeping, stop drinking so much and stop eating such horrifically unhealthy foods. Go out, wake up early, run that extra mile a day, drink more water, and Christ, if you have to, force feed yourself that salad even though I know you just want to eat Taco Bell. You keep saying, "Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow." But tomorrow is long gone, honey. Do it today. Do it now! You can do it. You can do it.

Okay, you and I both know that you won't ever hate him. It can be accepted as a fact now; however, don't let him walk all over you. He already left, so what do you have to lose? Nothing. I know how much you care and how scary it actually is to not have him in your life at all, but I can promise you it will be okay. You don't know what the future holds but right now you have to focus on the present, and the present doesn't involve him. Everyone else says it, so you already know it, but you've got to do it. You've got to move on. And you know what? You know what no one else tells you when they repeat those same words over and over when they are trying to help you feel better? They don't tell you that it's okay if it takes a while. Some people move on faster than others, some don't. You can't help it that he has been woven into the fabric of your heart. Just work on moving him to a different place in there. Cut out his little square of your heart shaped quilt that lies within your chest, and set it aside. You don't have to discard it. But there will be another person who will be sewn into his place. Don't rush things. Just simply let life happen. Let your heart heal on its own.

Now, I know how strong you are. But do you? Do you remember how strong you really are? Listen to those around you. What do they say? Those people are always commending you on your strength. They are always saying, "Wow, I could never go through that," and what are you doing? Going through that. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Look at everything you have accomplished in one semester of college alone. You have overcome mountains and you are still growing, learning and climbing. Repeat after me, you are strong. Don't forget how truly beautiful you are, inside and out. You've got an intriguing personality that you know for a fact allures some in. You have wit, spunk, humor and a pretty rockin' bod. Don't see yourself in a light that you know is false. Remember, you are beautiful.

Also, it's 100 percent okay to feel. God, if anything, allow yourself to feel. I know how easy it is for you to just hide everything and pretend like you're not just dying inside. Feel more, actually. You have a tendency to be cold and harsh, even though we know it's like a 68 percent front in order to weed the weak willed ones out of your life. Smile more (I know it's very difficult but you've got a nice smile so FLAUNT IT), laugh more, be angry less. Please go out and meet new people and experience life. Don't use school as an excuse not to live. You have to start living. You cannot afford to just exist. I'll be the first to say, you won't make it.

In closing, just try your best to be happy. I know you have struggled, but I know that you always end up seeing even the smallest glimmer of light in bad situations. I mean, who else can calm someone down when they are having a massive panic attack because they saw their friend get into a (minor) car accident with a joke about getting the mail? You are good. I know you tend to see yourself in such a dark way, but it's wrong. So what, you've made mistakes. You are human and it happens. Forgive yourself. You deserve it.

Stay strong, smile more, and for the love of God, stop being such a dick to people sometimes.

Love always,

Yourself