Hey BuzzFeed,

It’s me, Mariah. Just a small-town girl livin’ in a lonely world (thanks, Journey). I am an English major who has a passion for writing and humor. I have always been a hard worker, team player, and punctual. But, wait… Scratch that.

I could say I am all of those things like any monotonous stereotypical applicant would, but I am going to save your time and mine. Really, I am a 20-year-old college student in Washington pursuing my dreams of pulling all-nighters, perpetually missing the bus in the morning because I sleep through all of my alarms (#relatable, am I right?), and trying to avoid adulting as much as I possibly can.

In all honesty, I truly respect and admire the progressive work that you all do at BuzzFeed. How could someone not want to be a part of that kind of a community? Whether it’s BuzzFeed Video, BuzzFeed Food, BuzzFeed News, or BuzzFeed Animals, I am always a fan. And on that note, here is a list of just some of the reasons you should hire someone like me:

1. My friends call me... The Meme Queen.

Don't believe me? Well, click here (and here) to see for yourself. Whether it's finding memes or creating memes, I am the Queen. You're welcome.

2. I know how to find your friend's cousin's sister's boyfriend on Instagram, at record speed.

You've done it, I've done it, we've all done it. Social media stalking is a lifestyle, not just a hobby.

3. Kristen Wiig gives me purpose.

I know what you're thinking. Why would I even have to include this? Well, whether it's Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, or any SNL skit ever, she never fails to put a smile on her audience's face. She is my idol, and always will be. I think that says a lot about who I am as an employee. #KristenWiigforPresident2016

4. Social Media is cool.

Being a content creator for Odyssey means becoming comfortable sharing my content on all social media platforms, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, StumbleUpon... You name it. Whether it's making sure I have the perfect-yet-witty tweet or posting my Instagram picture at approximately 8:30 p.m. to get the most amount of likes, I ain't ashamed.

5. You could relaunch your entire platform with all the ideas in my noggin.

"10 Products That Are Worth Buying the Store Brand," "What Animal Are You Based On Your Zodiac Sign?" and "We Can Guess Your Favorite Spice Based On Where You Went To High School," and these are just to name a few. If you want more creative ideas, holla at your girl.

6. I can be anything you want want me to be.

You want me to be cheery? I can be cheery. You want me to be quiet as well sit in cubicles to edit our videos and quizzes? I can do that, too.

7. I am #relatable.

#blessup #anothaone #bye #relatablecontent

8. I thrive off of people asking me to do weird things that they wouldn't want to do themselves.

Did you say 'world's hottest hot sauce'? I'm in.

9. I instantly know someone's sitcom character before they take the quiz.

"Friends"? "How I Met Your Mother"? "Parks and Rec"? "The Office"? I have a sixth sense for matching people with their sitcom character.

10. The amount of times my friends have told me I would be a good fit for BuzzFeed is uncanny.

The people have spoken. Now it's your turn.

11. And lastly, I am already an expert in listicles (obviously).

I think this one speaks for itself...

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Well, BuzzFeed, there you have it. Here are some of the reasons you should hire me to be a part of your team. If by some miracle you happen to see this and like what you see, please don’t hesitate to reach me at my kinda-but-not-so-embarrassing 90’s email that spells my middle name wrong: mariahmaggy@yahoo.com.

And to any of those who know someone at BuzzFeed, have connections, or just feel like helpin' a girl out, feel free to share this article and get me closer to reaching my (kind of) realistic dream of working with the BuzzFeed team.

Well, it was worth a shot.