Yeah, I've been there and I know exactly how you feel. You want that whole college experience that everyone talks about, yet you do not know if you are comfortable enough leaving behind a life you grew to knew so well. You do not know if you are ready to give up everything you had at home and start living your own independent life wherever you decide to move away to. It is definitely a struggle you have been dreading since you walked through your high school as a senior.
I may not know what is right for everyone, but what I do know is that you do not want to make the wrong decision because of what you might "think" will make you happy. I am not going to lie, I wanted to be a follower and follow all the others who said that going away to college was the best choice they ever made. Looking back now, I did not make the choice for what I wanted, but the choice I thought was the better option. Moving away is a huge responsibility and it slapped me into reality once my mom and dad left me to fend for myself and make my own living, without them by my side.
You know, we as seniors or "used to be seniors" think that we know it all and know what is best for ourselves. We see all these different people partying and having such a great time at school, but we forget to come to the realization that maybe, that is not who we are. I know that I was pretending to be someone I was not. I would want to have fun because other people were and in reality, I much rather wanted to be home with my family laying on the couch watching Netflix.
I wish I knew a year ago, as I was packing up my life and moving to a completely different town that what I really wanted was to stay home. There was always this hesitation in my head about moving away, but I ignored it because I thought it was just nervous jitters. I did not know, that everything was about to change as I moved into my dorm for the next 9 months.
It was hard, living somewhere I did not want to live, and being somewhere that just was not for me. The first semester was okay because I thought I wanted to stay there for the remainder of my college education. What got to me, was the last semester of the school year. I completely shut down from everything and everyone and wanted to do absolutely nothing. I wanted to be home, and knowing I could not leave, was insanely terrible. I would say it was one of the hardest things that I ever had to go through in life. I do not wish that on anyone and I hope that any senior who is moving away, makes the right decision.
So, with all of this being said... If you are an incoming freshmen who is hesitant about moving away to school, I would think about it long and hard. What I thought I wanted and what you think you may want, might not be what you want. Look for signs and if they all point for you to go, than go. If they all point to you staying close to home, I would listen and stay home. None of the sleepless nights, crying, and feeling there is no way out is not how to live your life. Don't let it get to you and please make the right choice for you and no one else. Do what makes YOU happy and not what you "think" makes you happy.
So for right now, enjoy your summer but also keep in mind what you really want to do with your life and where you want to spend the next four years. Keep calm and good luck :)
