He's Not The One... You Are | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

He's Not The One... You Are

50
He's Not The One... You Are

Are we really supposed to believe that out of the 7 billion people that live on our planet, there is ONE individual that we are meant to be with? Are we really missing our "other half"? Or are we breaking up perfectly good relationships thanks to these unrealistic (and unhealthy) expectations that are constantly thrown at us?

Maybe that's why the divorce rate is 50%...

All our lives we are conditioned to believe that we NEED the one. It's as if we aren't whole until we find them. We are fed this idea we are not even a complete person until we find our 'soulmate". Don't believe me?

I love you. You…you complete me. -Jerry Maguire

“I’d never lived before your love, I’d never felt before your touch, and I never needed anyone to make me feel alive, but then again, I wasn’t really living.” ~Kelly Clarkson (Before Your Love)

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back.
- Meet Joe Black


1.) I'm complete without another human being, thank you.

2.) Obsession is never healthy.

Self identity is important... and almost impossible when movies and song lyrics shove phrases like "you complete me" down your throat. And yes, you may think it's innocent hyperbolic lyrics to express love to someone else. But when you turn on the radio, you hear "you complete me." When you watch a music video you hear, "I haven't lived until I met you." These exaggerated words act as nothing more than red alerts for single people. Find a lover and only then will you discover yourself. I can see how meeting your love can help you learn more about yourself. But to say that we require another human being to discover our full potential is a little self demeaning.

We romanticize the thought of true love to be this man or woman that makes all our pieces fit, that makes our flaws feel like perfection, that makes us feel whole as if we aren't whole all by ourselves. We strive to find someone who wants to be with us every moment of every day. We want them to constantly remind us of our beauty and loving personality, someone who never gets tired of hearing us complain, someone who will put our needs before theirs always, no exceptions. We want someone so perfect, so loving, so completely and utterly obsessed with us that it's almost as if their sole purpose on this planet was to find you and love you and marry you and be with you... Soulmate does't sound so romantic anymore does it?

I am in a loving and committed relationship and have been for the past three years. But we didn't get this way by conforming to the distorted ideology of finding a person to lick our wounds. No, we started as friends, then best friends, and that's when we both agreed we were so much more. Yes, we are in love with one another. But we aren't obsessed with each other. We are better together but whole without one another. And I could live without him... I just would never want to.

True (and healthy) love should be wanting to be with someone because they make your whole you a better, stronger, and happier person. You aren't lost without them, but you're more grounded with them. You aren't anxiously staring at your phone for hours waiting for them to call you but talking to them is the highlight of your day. And God forbid anything happens to them, you know everything is going to be alright.

Be in love sweetheart. It's a beautiful thing. But they are not your half. You are full of life. You are strong and charismatic. And most importantly, you are an individual. No one needs to complete you because no one comes into the world broken.


There is no such thing as a soulmate…and who would want there to be? I don’t want half of a shared soul. I want my own damn soul.

-Rachel Cohn

















Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Does anybody know how to study
Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

1980
How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less
girl roommates
StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

20 Thoughts While Studying For Finals

I may or may not be stressing right now.

2433
Thoughts While Studying For Finals
StableDiffusion


That time of the semester has arrived once again, finals. The worst week ever. Who thought it was a good idea for all your classes to have exams all in the same week? Definitely not me. Here's 20 thoughts you may have studying for finals.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

7194
Disney magic kingdom castle on new years
StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments