This summer I was almost exclusively around males my age, this sounds like a dream come true to most college aged females but most of my time was spent wishing I had a girl around. Between the endless hype for some basketball video game I've yet to learn the name of (2k?) and going to the gym (seriously the gym they carve time out of their day for this but lord forbid you want them to text you back) I got some hands on lessons on how to be in fellowship with males my age and NOT DATE THEM.
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One of my best friends and classmates has an amazing family that I've had the privilege of living with this summer! They took me in with open arms and really went above and beyond the call of duty to make me comfortable like I've always been part of the family. For the first six weeks I was staying with them I was fresh home from a trip to Africa and their sons jumped on a plane to Portland to do some work with NAMB.
When the six weeks was up they came home and all of the sudden I had two new brothers to learn to live with! at first it was strange I won't lie, waking up in all my morning glory and seeing the guy I casually talked to in the cafe and saw mostly within the walls of my church at the kitchen table every morning was weird. Waiting for him to get out of the shower so I would take one was weird and doing normal things like watch Netflix and try to pick what we want to for lunch was weird, not because it was awkward but because it was normal. I didn't feel any underlying pressure to be anything but myself with him and because of that I really got to know h! we talked about where he sees himself going in the future; I got to watch his eyes light up when he talked about the way God was moving in his life! we spent countless hours talking about the ministry that we recently became partners in and at one point we went to pick the new paint colors for Sunday school room we do our work in.
All of these activities were made exponentially better by the fact that he is not now nor will he ever be my husband. I know that's a weird to think about and is almost a little rude, don't get me wrong he's handsome. But I've known pretty much from the beginning that he is not my husband and because of that I really got to be messy around him! When I was tried I acted tired when I was hungry I ate a PB&J or two all with him by my side probably eating 3. My whole life I've had a sticky relationship with males. Mostly in the terms of not knowing how to be their friend so watching myself grow in faith with the encouragement of my brother in Christ has been so eye opening. Along with my new brothers (I didn't talk a lot about brother 2 but he's nice too promise) came their hooligan friends who are also not my husband!Again all handsome and outstanding young men but I'm really not going to marry them and it's amazing.
You know the Classic little sister charter that just wants to hang out with her brothers friends, that was me most of the summer, except I was the same age and I made sure to ask if it was ok to hang out before I did. Being around a group of males and not being attracted to one of them is a lot like what I guess doing research on gorillas would feel like (gorillas in the mist? Anyone? Just me?) when you like a guy in the group you feel added pressure to be on his side or laugh at his joke or cheer for his team but when you don't you get to just marvel at the strange strange way boys talk to one another and yet remain friends??
All of it was authentic and fun and now that I'm moved out of the house I actually miss sitting around with them and making fun of one another, truthfully they didn't take a shot at me but I think that's because they were scared of tears. which flawlessly brings me to the next lesson I learned, you don't have to act like one of the boys to hang out with the boys, I just recently took this to heart thanks to total submersion and let me tell ya 10/10 would recommend not trying to act like a boy. when they talked about things I didn't understand I just said I didn't know what was happening and one of them got to have the glorious shining moment of explaining something to a "helpless" female (that's their favorite thing to do id put money on it) and when their jokes weren't funny I didn't have to laugh! it was amazing like we were actually friends or something?! Going from living exclusively with females at my private Christan university to living/interacting with mostly males has shown me some pretty amazing things about how both of sexes interact with scripture, worship and obedience.
From a world fueled by emotions to a world powered by protein shakes and logic I got to see two very different pictures of the King I am so grateful to be serving. Growing up young girls have been thought that Prince Charming is coming! To stay alert and be ready to get swept off their feet because he could be coming at any moment. When in all reality this is only going to happen once. With one man. Not every male that's been placed in my life is going to be my husband but they are all going to be my brother in Christ so why in the world did it take me so long to treat them that way?!
At the end of the day remember that you have that special someone out their for you but you have more brothers in Christ out there waiting to explain the fake point system to you in the fake sport version of a video game and then tell you about how he interprets the book of Esther from the war side and not the story side (no joke I've had this conversation) so do yourself a favor and treat every guy like they aren't your husband! you have better odds that way anyway.
{Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires - Song of Solomon 8:4}
