We all know how this story begins. So there’s this guy right? You meet him and you feel this instant connection. That spark everyone is always going on and on about. You guys have got it. He’s sweet and interesting and he’s so down. Suddenly you're BFF's on SnapChat. You're getting texts like, “Let’s grab a drink!” “Where are you going tonight?” “Come over this weekend!” These texts keep rolling in and you’re feeling on top of your game. This is it. This is the next great guy, the one you’ve been waiting for right? You’re screenshotting his sweet texts and sending them to your girlfriends in your group chat. You can already see the Man Crush Monday’s.
But then Mr. McDreamy starts acting Mr. McShady on you. He stops answering your texts. Those snap chats are eliciting less enthusiastic responses. Suddenly he's making excuse after excuse about those hangouts. You might even hear that you're not the only girl who he seemed so into.
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And now you’re thinking, “Whoa. Whoa. Where’s Mr. Charming? Where's the guy with the cute smile and interesting story?The guy who seemed so open and fun to get to know. The guy you swear if he gave you a chance, you'd break through his mysterious persona, the hard shell he's developed to "protect himself" and find the sweet and amazing man you know must be underneath.
Ladies. I have news for you. This guy? Mr. Charming? Baby girl. He’s not that into you. In fact, he has already decided, maybe before ever even talking to you, that he’s not going to invest everything into you. And it sucks. If you’re like how I used to be, you’re going to try to fight it. You’re going to swear you know him better than anyone else and that he is just complicated and doesn’t know how to be in a relationship right now.
Bullshit.
Sorry, but it is. If he wanted you, he’d have you. If he was truly into you no amount of “messed up” will keep him from trying to love you. He might fail at it, sure, but he’d give it a shot. If he liked you he’d text you, call you, hell he’d send smoke signals if he had to. He wouldn’t make you feel unwanted, annoying, crazy, or jealous. He’d be there for you too. Whether you were hurting or celebrating, he’d be there. It wouldn’t be a one-way street of support. He’s not that into if he doesn’t care.
Ladies we’re part of the problem here too. We are allowing men into our lives and keeping them there even though they make us feel like also-rans in the race for their hearts. You’re a freaking gold medalist girlfriend. You are a prize. You shouldn’t be letting guys into your life who don’t view you that way. The only way we are ever going to end this “f*ckboy circus” we have become the ringleaders of is by stepping out of the tent.
Ladies, I promise you, I used to be one of you. Hell bent on loving broken men who only I could fix. So sure that my heart was the one that could heal theirs. I was convinced that these "rough around the edges" dudes just needed a fairy godmother like Cinderella's to transform them into the Prince Charming I was sure was lurking just beneath the veneer of a jerk. Sometimes, a pumpkin is a just a pumpkin and not a gold carriage in disguise. After I stopped trying to make the men in my life shape up for me, I met a man who already did so on his own. He didn't need me to make him into my prince, because he already was and has spent every moment since treating me like royalty.
So to the ladies who have been made to feel like they weren’t enough, weren’t everything any man could dream of, please realize that you are everything and more. And the sooner you start realizing this, the sooner this breed of dating culture will die off for good.
Now will the real Prince Charmings please stand up?
