On August 2^nd, I lost my baby sister, Mary to drugs. She struggled with addiction throughout most of her life. I never thought it would be my sister that would die with a needle in her arm. She was thirty-six years old, tough as nails, passionate, caring, loving, with a personality that could light up any party.

When someone dies from a drug overdose you’re left with so much anger and so many questions. Why would someone with a great job and a wonderful fiancé, and a loving family do drugs? What if I had done more to help her? But the truth is you can only help an addict as much as they want to be helped. The fact that she didn’t leaves me with so much anger and confusion at her, at God, at the world, at everyone.

I understand addiction is a disease and heroin is one of the toughest drugs to kick, but she did it for the longest time, she was clean before falling downward into that spiral again. Most people remember the date September 11, 2001 for the day the planes hit the Twin Towers. I remember it for the day my sister was going through detox in our living room. In-between watching the news and listening to her vomit I watched as my brother carried her up and down our stairs because she was too weak to walk. This is what drugs do to a person. I never thought she’d go back after how far she had come.

I keep thinking of all the things we’ll never do. She’ll never have kids and make me an aunt. She’ll never meet my kids. I’ll never be her maid of honor. She’ll never be my maid of honor. We’ll never get old together. It makes me want to shed a million tears for those memories we’ll never make.

I would give anything to see her smiling face again. I treasure all our childhood memories. We had some great ones. Playing with all my cousins are especially nice memories that I hold close to my heart. My aunts and uncles are heartbroken as none of them have lost a niece or nephew before to my knowledge.

Her fiancé will always be a part of our family as he brought out the best in her and made her the best person she could be. They spent eight years together and I’m so grateful to him for giving her the love he gave her for those eight years. Thank you, Sean.

As for me and my two brothers, we are devastated. She was our protector. The one who always looked out and stood up for all of us. We’ll forever love you Mar Mar.

My family is in shock and saddened by this senseless tragedy. My parents will never be the same, none of us will. A light has been extinguished, one which shone so brightly our world is now a little grayer without her. I love you Mar Mar. Until we meet again…