What do you do when your hero dies? For many of us, our hero is someone famous, so most people at the extreme would cry and maybe listen to that famous person’s music, re-read books they wrote or watch old films, depending on what that famous person was known for. What about the people whose hero is a loved one?

For me, my hero was and always will be my Nan. Her name is Bonita, which in the Spanish language means beautiful. My hero was taken from me at a time when I needed her the most. She passed away the summer after my freshman year in college due to cancer. When she passed, she did not wish for a funeral. This made it a lot harder to cope with the fact that someone I once called every Sunday to ask for guidance in life was gone.

A hero is someone you look up to and walk in their footsteps with. My Nan was not my hero just because she was family. This was a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer not once, but twice. The first time she was diagnosed with breast cancer was just three short years before I was born, and the next time was when I was still a teen in high school. The second time, however, she could not go through another round of chemo. The years the doctors told her she had left was not much, but she surpassed their expectations. Cancer is something everyone wishes was just some made up word that only exists in nightmares, and that’s exactly how it feels when those words become a reality. I would like to believe those who have been diagnosed with cancer are strong people.

Not only was my Nan strong, but I know for a fact she has touched the lives of others. She traveled to many places as she cared for race horses. Each time she would return, she would have a new story about the people she met along the way. One time, I was lucky enough to venture with her to Colorado. I aspire to be the kind of person to travel and be open to meeting new people I could perhaps continue to have a friendship with, just like my Nan.

Due to her traveling, she dreamed big. Likewise, she had big dreams for me too. She always encouraged me throughout my schooling constantly being my number one fan. When things would go south, she would tell me, “Grow where you are planted.” To me now, that means life will take bad turns, but you just have to grow from it. Losing her still today isn’t easy. I’m still not fully at peace with it, but this is how I’ve coped. These are also the things I’ll never forget because of her.

Calling my mother every Sunday, because yes, even your mother is full of wisdom too. Remembering that everyone needs to hear kind words. Tiger balm can heal all wounds. Coconut oil is always a must. “The Kongos” are a band that everyone needs to check out at least once. Capital letters are a real thing. Horses are wild, but they have gentle hearts. Meditating is a good thing. The beach is a girl's best friend. Last but not least, forgiving is an important part of living a peaceful life. To my Nan, who was a wild child and most definitely a hippie who had all the positive vibes, I’m glad God decided you would be my grandmother, a position you held very well.

Love Always,

Your Mini Me