If you haven't seen the Netflix show Peaky Blinders, you clicked on the wrong headline. I've seen three episodes of Peaky Blinders, so I'm sort of an expert on it now. It's alright I guess, but there are things that are wrong. These are they:

1. Nobody cares about DNA evidence

The first joke is always the worst. It's no wonder the Birmingham cops are having so much trouble getting the straight dirt on Tommy Shelby. They're not scanning for the DNA evidence. More like, "police futility," as opposed to police brutality. You'll get it when you're older.

2. Not as many horses as advertised

For a show called Peaky Blinders, I was expecting some blinders, which are horse goggles or something. I'm just three episodes in. They better get more horses onscreen soon or I'm going to continue to be as upset as I am now, neither wavering from nor adjusting my current level of displeasure.

3. The music

I'm pretty sure rock music didn't arrive to Great Britain until WWII could be used as subject matter, so what gives? There's guitar all over the place. For goodness sake, somebody pull out an accordion or harmonica. Fulfill my inability to understand that the period between 1820-1935 Britain was just Charles Dickens carving a turkey with a roaring flame in the fireplace.

4. I'm not British enough to understand the plot

I can't get it through my genetically-modified American melon. What is going on in this show? Everyone sounds refined and it makes my Yankee brain rattle with fear. Where are the horses? You know what they should've done? Horse gang. Horses don't have accents so I would be able to understand what they want using context clues. They probably want hay, an apple, a sugar cube or the day off. Or some clothes because it's freezing out here, unless it's summer, in which case it's steaming. LIKE A LONDON BROIL.

5. I'm not sure how historically accurate this show is

I'm positive I saw someone use the middle finger, but I thought people still bit their thumbs at each other in 1919. I am a useless baby, look it up for me Google-mommy.

6. Alfie yells a lot :(

He is loud because he is passionate. That's fine, but if he's going to fix races the least he can do is fix my ears. Alfie, please lower your voice or I will have to reconsider watching this show!

Everything else is right with this program. Unless I'm wrong, and that is honestly likely. These are just some things I can't get over. If only Cillian Murphy could hear me whine and tell me everything is going to be okay, there is a spin-off coming soon about the horses. Am I the only one who wants to know what the horses are doing when they're not being rode or whispered to? I need to finish this show soon so I can watch Riverdale for the sole purpose of talking to my friend about Riverdale once a week.