Kid Cudi released a statement earlier this month where he announced that he was going to be putting his career on hold in hopes of getting himself to a place of prosperity. His open letter sparked reactions of fans as well as people who might have known who he is... but they do now.
"I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions every day of my life. There's a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can't make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and I'm tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling."
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I wish I could say that I understood the emotions you're experiencing. I wish the people that have surrounded you for so many years knew the right things to say to help you get through your struggle. I've spent the last few days listening to my favorite Kid Cudi songs trying to break down your lyrics... and I mean really break them down trying to figure out what you've been going through.
I sit and talk to my friends about how crazy it is that no matter how comfortable you are or how much money you have if you have never actually found pure happiness, what in the hell is the point? And I guess that's what you realized, what the hell is the point of all of this if I'm not genuinely happy? I commend you for that. I can only imagine how hard that actually was to tell the world.
I couldn't imagine having my life completely run by other people, someone else making my schedule, having people pay to meet me or take a picture of me, it's trapping and I can see how it makes you feel not even like a human but instead just a mogul to be photographed for Instagram.
I sat and played through the entire Man on the Moon: The End of Day album and found myself experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. I broke down every single lyric and found myself with chills when you said, "I've got some issues that nobody can see, and all of these emotions are pouring out of me, I bring them to the light for you, it's only right, this is the soundtrack to my life." I've always looked at this song as catchy and fun to sing, but I got chills because not only is it so saddening but empowering thinking you were completely vulnerable and brave telling the world what you have been going through by your lyrics, but also, telling the world that it's okay to really not be okay. It's okay to not be happy at that moment, as long as that's where you're trying to get. Who is anyone to say they're not always looking for something new or exciting to make them happy? Everyone is always searching for happiness.
It makes sense. It all makes sense. You let everyone know you were going through the most, but you just chose to avoid what you were feeling to continue providing product for your fans. It makes sense why you would turn to drugs because it's so difficult to deal with your emotions sober, but it's amazing that you were able to realize you needed to go and deal with yourself and your mental state.
Please do not apologize for being selfish because there is not a single person in the world who can try to justify or belittle your depression. As a victim of anxiety and depression, I respect the man you are not only for the artist that you are, but as a man who is able to bring awareness to the issue of mental health. Thank you for being a light to the world regardless of if you realize it or not. Your lyrics have inspired millions, but your vulnerable words will help just as many.
"It's true that pain makes people change." - Scott Mescudi