Single life with your friends is the best. You’re all alone, together. But you’re not really alone, because you’re together. When it’s just you and your friends, and you’re all single, you can be free and obnoxious and loud, and not worry about anyone but yourself. These are the moments when being single makes you feel liberated and independent. But what happens when one, or maybe two, or maybe even three, of your closest friends meet someone? Read below to find out.
Phase 1.
So, your friend met someone. Oh, and it was at the same party that you were at. No big deal, it’s casual. You’re happy for your friend. You think in your head, Aw, you go! But you kind of just assume it’s going to be more of a one-nighter or short fling because, let’s be honest, what are the odds that two people who meet at a party actually end up being in a relationship? So your friend goes home with said someone that night, and you end up going home by yourself, not really bothered by it and still probably a little bit drunk from the party; you end up eating half of your fridge, and then passing out. You wake up the next morning not even caring, or maybe not even remembering what happened last night. So you carry on with your day. Then 3 p.m rolls around and -- buzz, buzz.
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Friend: OMG LAST NIGHT WAS SO AMAZING!
You’re feeling slightly saddened and jealous-ish, but covering it up because you have to be happy for your friend, right?
You: OMG yay! Can’t wait to hear all about it. Let’s talk about it later.
Friend: Okay sounds good.
So you meet up with your friend and you two talk about how awesome of a night it was, and how it was more than just a one-night stand, and how they felt chemistry, and how they think it could actually be something -- and blah, blah, blah -- the whole time you’re actually really thinking of what new Netflix show to throw yourself into. But, you proceed to be happy for your friend and hope for the best for them.
Soon, your friend begins telling you all about the first dates and happy, fun things about this new fling in their life. With your friend being busy with this new person you start to hang out with some other friends who are single also so you can have some crazy single nights again.
Phase 2.
You’re still in constant contact with your friend, but then you get a call saying
Friend: Guess what?
You totally know that this friend is going to say -- they’re no longer single followed by a high pitched excited shriek -- but you don’t say anything to play the game.
You: What?
And you know how the rest goes, already.
You continue to be happy for this friend. You watch their relationship status change on Facebook, seeing all the cute pics posted, and standing in the shadow of their new beautiful new relationship. But it’s OK that they’ve decided to spend more time with someone they really like, and you’re happy for them. At least you’ve started hanging out with people that are single, too, so you can be happy little single people together. But even though you have these people, you can’t help but feel sad that your old friend found someone and you didn’t. Especially after all the nights together that you predicted they were going to be the one alone forever -- not you. But you shake it off and realize that you still have your independence, and you embrace the freeness and dance the night away not worrying about it. But that night, the same thing that happened to your old friend -- happened to your new friend. And we all know what happens next.
Phase 3.
Rent a really sad Redbox movie, go to Target and buy one of their really nice expensive trail mixes with lots of chocolate in it, and cry when you realize that you’re never going to have what your friends have.
Phase 4.
Decide to devote yourself to something that doesn’t require it to love you back. Maybe a nun or a monk, or something spiritual.
OK, I'm just kidding about phases 3 and 4. But, Phases 1 and 2 do actually happen. You can be the last one of your friends to be single. And to be honest, it sucks. I’m not saying being single sucks; I’m saying that being single when everyone else around you isn’t, sucks. It’s not as fun as it used to be.
When people get into relationships they tend to get routined, and kind of old. They sleep together almost every night, and rarely stay out past 1 a.m. In your head you’re thinking, What happened to the old (insert friend's name)? When you’re the last single one of your friends it kind of gets into your head a little bit. And by this I mean, you start to feel the pressure of finding a relationship just to be in a relationship. And you feel this way regardless if you even want one, anyways.
Don’t let the pressure of your friends being in a relationship have any affect on you and how you want to live your life. If you want to flirt and be single and have fun, do it. Don’t let your friends who think, Well, maybe you should just find someone or go for that boy who really liked you, talk you into something you’re not comfortable with or ready for.
So, all your friends are in a relationship, and you aren’t. It’s not the end of the world, right? You’re strong, you got this, you can be independent and find some new people to go out with. But you might have to realize that all of your fun single nights might be coming to a slow temporary stop. Your friends will still be around, and you’ll still be able to hang out with them. But things will just be a little bit different. There’s a different dynamic, now. A little different of a vibe. But, your friend is still the same old friend they once were. Embrace the truth, realize what you really want, and as always, focus on yourself. Don’t be the person who rushes into a relationship in the fear of being single to only find out that you’ve started making compromises and have lost yourself. Don’t think that you’ll be alone forever or think that you’re not good enough. And never settle. Someone you haven’t even met yet is out there wondering what it’d be like to meet someone like you.
Stay fab, my single homies.
P.S. We’re the cool ones and everyone knows it.
Thanks for reading,
Jenna.
