We probably all know someone who's been cheated on. It's the oldest story in the book. We've all seen the movies, heard the songs and given advice to people who have been affected. So here are the little lessons I have learned about cheaters in my two short decades that I've been around.

1. Cheaters are bored.

This is why most people cheat. Cheaters find the first shiny object out there and go for it. They want what they "can't have" because what they do have is clearly not enough. What they have is just not good enough for them. They want more because they feel entitled to it. Most of the time, they will go to whatever lengths to get it. I've witnessed this first hand. I've seen friends and even family members cheat. And to be honest — I never understood why someone would.

2. They're cowards.

A coward, by definition, is someone who is afraid to do what is right or what is expected. It's a person who lacks courage to face what is difficult. A coward is not brave. A coward is weak. A coward is selfish. Selfish in the most naked sense of the word. They cheated because they wanted to fulfill their own desires. They chose to do that for themselves. And now they're sorry because they got caught. So at what point is it not about them?

Fact is they won't end their relationship before moving onto their new partner. They don't want to face the fact that they're no longer interested in their significant other — or worse, having to be the one to end things. Cheaters are worried about what other people will think. They are too selfish to let the other person go. Because why not have two toys rather than one?

3. "The first to cheat is the first to accuse."

Somehow, the cheater is always the one to accuse their partner of doing the same disgusting thing they have done. How, may you ask, is that even possible? It's simple. It's always easier to point the finger at someone else, rather than pointing it at yourself. It's always easier to find any other place for the blame to go.

No matter how long the particular couple has been together (and we're talking decades in my experience), the cheater is still the one to question their partner. They were at fault, and instead of keeping infidelity out of their mouth, they continue to poke fun at the idea of cheating.

I've had people close to me cheat and somehow still play the victim. It's unimaginable. And yet, it happens. Why? Because their partners are weakened from their act. Their partner's self-esteem is lowered, and they want to do anything and everything to please their partner who just cheated on them. They want to work on the relationship. They want to forgive. They still believe in the bond and love that was once there. I have seen this with my own eyes. It's excruciatingly heartbreaking.

4. "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

We've all heard this one, right? Or maybe it was, "Cheaters tend to think everyone cheats." Either way, it happens time and time again. Whether it's a week, a few months or 10 years later, a cheater will cheat again. Sure, they are unbelievably sorry for some amount of time, but once things get boring again and they get presented the opportunity, they'll take it.

Now, there are people who learn from their mistakes. There are people who cheat and then fight for their relationship until the end because they realize what they did was wrong. They express remorse. But these people are not selfish; they will work for their partner's trust. They ask and wait for forgiveness. They brave it out and once they have it, they cherish it.

And, most importantly, these "exceptions to the rule" are strong. They carry their mistake on their shoulders for the rest of their lives. They carry that weight without throwing it in their partner's face. They work every day to make sure their significant other is happy. They know that things can never be the same, but they work to make sure they're the best they can be.

5. Cheating is not a mistake; it's a choice.

But of course, this is the first excuse cheaters will use. But this wasn't a "mistake." A mistake is something you didn't mean to do. A mistake is a decision that produces an unwanted result. But it is still a decision. One they consciously made over and over again. Once, when they started talking to this other person. Once, when they started flirting with them. Once, when they opened their heart to another human that was not their significant other. Once, when they were intimate with them. So at what point exactly did they not "mean to" cheat?

And honestly, it sure as hell wasn't a mistake if this was the third, fourth or fifth time they cheated. If you love someone else, you wouldn't be able to share yourself with another person. Therefore, it's a choice. They chose to do it because they wanted to, because they didn't give a single fuck about their relationship or the people affected by their actions.

Cheaters, want my advice?

Probably not. But here it is: Either let them go or don't cheat. This is probably one decision you're not willing to make, but if someone is just an option to you, don't choose them. Go for the person that's the only option for you because they're they only one you really want. You can't love two people, because if you started to love the second, then you never really, truly loved the first. By cheating on them, you're only cheating yourself out of loyalty. But more importantly, you're cheating the other person on time. You're crushing their feelings. You're breaking their heart.

Bottom line?

I'll work on anything until it's out of my hands. I would rather work on something I've fought to build, than see it come crashing down and know I'm the reason. I'm brave enough to accept when a relationship is going downhill. But I'm also selfless enough to want to work on it until there's nothing left to work on.

Feelings fade, and people fall out of love. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen. But I'd rather give it a shot with the person who's been there for me. I'd rather fight for the love that this person has or had for me. I'd rather put myself in their shoes. I'd rather say I at least tried.

And if it's over, I'd rather just be honest. I would rather break someone's heart the old fashioned way, by telling them why this isn't working for me, by giving them closure. I have the courage to grow a pair and just say what I'm feeling. I would never play mind games with someone who, at one point, was the reason I woke up in the morning, who made me smile, who was really there for me. If I'm in a relationship, it's because I respect this other person and wanted them to be a part of my life. So I respect them enough to give them honesty.

So that's why I refuse to ever be a cheater. I won't be the reason another person doubts their self-worth. I'm the type of person that likes to build others up, instead of break them down. I don't want to be the reason another human being out there has a negative outlook on love. It's something that should be cherished.

I've seen the closest people in my life live with the pain that it's caused. I've seen them second guess everything they do. I've seen them try three times as much as the person who broke a part of them, and I have yet to understand why that is.

Sure, I'm only in college. What could I know about what I will do in the future, right? But that's exactly the point. Because of someone cheating on me, it's already harder for me to trust anyone new that I meet. Once trust of that degree is broken, it affects not only romantic relationships but new friendships as well.

I wouldn't break someone else's trust like that, simply because I've had mine broken. Immediately, you begin to doubt yourself in relationships. You can't get yourself to truly believe the words, "I love you" anymore. There are nights you wake up and still wonder why you weren't good enough, and you never really come back from something like that.