Here's the thing. I tend to be a very open and honest person when it comes to writing. Over the past couple of weeks, I have had trouble with coming up with things to say and things to write about. It's not that nothing has come to my head, it's just that my thoughts and ideas are not developed to the point of making a blog post about it. I also feel as if I'm not being so honest with you. I mean at this point, after writing for the Odyssey for almost a year, I know now that there is, in fact, a YOU. So because of that, I am just going have a 'Here's the thing' blog. I don't really know where this is gonna go but...anyways...here you go.
Here's the thing. I am done with trying to be a 'cliche' writer. You know, the ones that sign up to write but only post things that you have seen a million times. I'm not gonna lie. I've been there and I've done that but why? To get more views? To impress someone? No. I'm over that. I don't care who sees these. I'm not writing for the views or the shares anymore. I've turned a new leaf if that's what you would like to say. I've lost sight of why I began writing in the first place. I was so worried about trying to get an article on time that I resulted into writing crap articles that I am embarrassed to have on my page.
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing and if you knew me, which hopefully in the next few weeks, you will know more about me, you would know that writing is something that I love to do and that it's something I don't just settle for. It's because of this, I have found writing for the Odyssey a job rather than something I used to enjoy. I'm done with that though. I'm sick of just coming up with something that doesn't make me proud just to make my viewers or others happy.
Here's my new thing, I'm going to start writing for me. With that, you're going to see me become more personal, more open and more vulnerable. This isn't a bad thing but I think, for me, it's important for me to do. I'm honestly so sick and so tired of writing something on here or sharing something on social media just to make myself perceive to be something or someone that I'm clearly not.
So here's to me. Here's to you. And here's to everyone that is exhausted because they are working their butts off to make themselves look like a better person. We might as well just accept the fact that we're all human and that we're not perfect. I'm not dumb. You might have perfected your instagram but that doesn't make me blind to the fact that your life is probably a mess.
I know it sounds like I'm yelling at you but I'm not. I'm just being honest. Remember? That's the whole point of this article. For me to be open and honest with you all. I believe that everyone's life is a mess. No instagram, twitter, etc. can convince me otherwise. And heck, if I'm going to try and be relatable here, my life is such a mess right now that it's not even funny. Sometimes, I don't even know how I should feel in situations so I just go back and forth and back and forth. I say something and then two minutes later, I say the complete opposite thing. It's what I do. It's who I am. I can't help it.
And that's my problem. I try to make it seem that I have it all together when in reality, I know that I don't. I've reached the point in my life where I'm sick of trying to be perfect. I'm done trying to only write things that are going to make other people happy and I'm done pretending in front of an audience of people other than my mom.
So, to end this long rant. I will just say that, from now on, all you're going to get from me, is me. My thoughts, my opinions, my stories, all of that beauty that has found itself in the mind of a 19 year old girl. Well...good luck to me I guess.
Much Love Always. -Addison.