I’ve come to the conclusion that my countless failed relationships, or may I say relationship with 1,345,000 breakups, is my fault.
See, relationships are already difficult, it’s meshing two different personalities together, two human beings who are very flawed and have dealt with different situations or issues in their life which have molded them into the person they are now. They become even more difficult when neither parties are mentally or emotionally prepared to be in a relationship, which unfortunately is not necessarily given or known before ever embarking into the relationship.
In order for someone to be emotionally stable or prepared to share their life with someone, they must learn what it's like to be alone.
Unfortunately, I don’t know what this means and that has been the biggest problem in this whole situation.
I’m not saying I’ve been with this person out of loneliness, don’t get me wrong, I love him and as dramatic and engulfing as it may sound I probably always will. We’ve grown up together and have been through so much it brings tears to my eyes.
But unfortunately I haven’t given myself time to fall in love with myself, which has only made me and him love each other incorrectly.
We didn't know what love was and what we were doing to each other. I hung to him so tightly out of fear of losing him, it brought the worst.
So when the time came to depart each other's ways, I was completely lost, I did not know who I was if not his and that was insanely bad and unhealthy.
See, it's very easy to fall into people’s dick-sand and forget who you are once someone shows the slightest interest in your persona. The idea of being "alone" is so stigmatised people don't do it anymore.
If you truly want to do something, why should the prospect of doing it alone be an obstacle to your will? In the end, the connection you have with that object or goal is the most important.We have to learn to embrace being alone/single when we get the chance, and I’m not saying going crazy and sleeping around with 10 guys in two weekends, (if this is your thing you go girl.)
What I’m saying is that the time we have to be single, no commitments not strings, is really the time we get to experience and get good at being alone and discovering ourselves.
It’s like Alice said from “How To Be Single”: The thing about being single is, you should cherish it. Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment, when you're not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment, when you stand on your own. Really, truly single. And then... It's gone.