Our society has created a new monster. It’s called comparing our lives to others. Millennials have started a new trend by creating our own first impressions of people off of their social media or even worse, comparing our lives to others based on the filtered and edited photos they post.

This is so wrong.

The other new thing is “goals.” #goals, that is relationship goals, her life is goals. No, it’s not. That is a couple that posted what may be the cutest picture you have seen thus far, but you have no idea what that relationship consists of. Stop wishing for something you know nothing about. You don’t know how they talk to each other, what they wish for each other or what they fight about. Like their picture and move along.

As for the girl with the Instagram you creep on because it’s “the best” profile out there, stop right there. You like her pictures yes, but don’t go wishing away your own life because it doesn’t match her profile. She has great style, her photos are high quality and she always looks genuinely happy, but so do you. You have your own style, your own qualities and your own happiness. Sometimes it may be hard to believe, but people look at your pictures the same way. You look happy and living an incredible life too. If there are things in her profile you like, try them in your life, but make sure it’s something you do for yourself in your own terms.

The root of the problem really lies in wishing for something that isn’t your own life. When you say “I want her life” or “she is goals,” I don’t think the magnitude of those statements really registers. Saying “I want her life” isn’t the same as wishing for her style, her seeming flawless skin or her caption abilities. How do you know what her life is? You don’t know her passions, her talents, her relationships with family or friends or her insecurities. What keeps her up at night or the voice inside her head is an unknown to you. Be careful of what you say and wish for.

If you want a life with more style, buy new clothes or redecorate. If you want high quality pictures get a camera or take a class. But don’t sit and frown on your own life because I’m sure it’s better than you give it credit. If your own life isn’t what you want, only you can change it. Start today. Do something you have always thought of but never followed through with. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that you will look back someday and kick yourself for not going all out when you had the chance.

Making comparisons is natural for everyone, it’s the black and white things that either are or aren’t in your life. But don’t give that the power. Don’t put the happiness of your life on the likes you receive or the number of followers you have compared to others. Your life was created to be yours but it will also be exactly what you make it.