Recently I have been having some hardcore Heavy, Deep, and Real talks (HDRs) with my close friends. In these, we talk a lot about life, death, love, and the different types of relationships that we’ve had. Through these talks I have come to the conclusion that many of my friends have the same problems that I do. We have a lot of feelings and thoughts, but oftentimes, we don’t know how to articulate them.

And sometimes, there are too many at once.

While I am not expert, I have a couple things that help me to arrange my thoughts and get a sense of my feelings when I am overwhelmed, having a hard time getting over something, or in my feels.

1.Talking to a friend

While I know that this seems obvious, it is one of the best ways to get all of your thoughts and feeling out. Whenever one of my friends is having a hard time with something or simply needs to rant about something, they know that they can call me and I’ll be here to listen to whatever they have to say, and I know the same applies to me.

It doesn’t have to be a long, deep, heartfelt conversation. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you rant about a class or something that annoyed you during the day. Either way, having someone that is willing to simply listen can mean the world.

2. Writing letters

One thing that I always come back to when I have a lot of thoughts in my head is writing letters. I never write with the intent of sending them to someone, although occasionally I will. It helps me to get out my thoughts and feelings instead of keeping them inside. I’ve written letters to old friends, events in my life, inanimate objects… whatever it is that I have feelings about.

Not only does it help me to let out any thoughts and feelings that threaten to overwhelm, but it can also be nice to have them to look back on and see how far you have come and how much progress you have made along the way.

3. Creating playlists

Musical therapy. There will always be songs that perfectly match my feelings at any given time. So when the thoughts or feelings threaten to overwhelm, sometimes it is best to embrace them. If I’m feeling sad, listening to sad music can help me to let out all my feelings. Creating a playlist that starts off sad but ends triumphantly can help me to work through my feelings and ease me into a more peaceful or happy headspace.

4. Building new from old

When thinking about some of the more toxic relationships I’ve had over the past few years, there are a lot of specific songs, places, or symbols that I associate with bad times. One helpful thing for me to do with them is to refuse to let the old memories ruin whatever it is that I associate with it forever. Instead, I chose to make new memories with that song, bring joy into that place, or associate something inspiring with the symbol.

Sometimes, I will hear a song, or go somewhere that reminds me of a specific person or event that happened in my life that had gotten me down in the past. But with the new memories that I build, I can take charge and focus on the positive.

5. Life cleaning

Something that I love to do when I need to let out my feelings or organize my thoughts is to look at all the things in my life that may be adding to my stress or anxiety and do a cleanse. I’ll go through my social media and unfollow any blogs or pages that add to the negativity in my life. I’ll also go through my room, take everything out, and rearrange things or reorganize.

And then, after everything is clean, organized, and all the negativity is gone, I will evaluate the relationships in my life and think about what I can do in order to strengthen those bonds. And if at the end of everything I realize that the effort isn’t being reciprocated, sometimes I make the decision to sever that bond.

Don’t get me wrong, that decision is never an easy one, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, and how much effort you put into a relationship, you have to realize that relationships take two. If you are the one who always gives and never receives, it might be time to let the other person put in the effort.

If you are anything like me, your first instinct is to bottle everything up, so finding a way to let out your feelings or organize your thoughts is really important for your physical and mental wellbeing. Even if you are someone who likes to let everything out, it can still be nice to have different ways to do so. If you can find something that brings you joy, being able to let everything out will be healthier for you in the long run.