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Help Find Emma A Boyfriend

She once was convinced she had Sleep apnea, but it turned out she just had Mono.

Brittany Schmidt

Jul 17, 2017

Saint Mary's College - Indiana

4079

Brittany Schmidt

She's tried tinder. She's tried wearing a low cut bikini top in her Instagram pictures. She's tried roaming the aisles of Costco on Friday nights for a DILF, but my little sister, Emma, has had no luck with finding herself a boyfriend. There's not much more she can do to find the perfect guy. I have decided to create Emma a personalized dating advertisement in hopes that I can find her a man. With your help, maybe, just maybe, "Mr. Semi-Okay" is out there for Emma!

Emma's Physical Features:

Height: 5'2

Eye Color: Green

Food that describes her body shape: Meatball

Shoe Size: 8

Ring Size: 9

Random Facts About Emma:

Can burp the ABC's

Can rap Lil Wayne's part in Jay Sean's song Down

She once was convinced she had Sleep apnea, but it turned out she just had Mono

She was once cut from the volleyball team, cheer leading team, and the traveling show choir all in the 7th grade

Claims to not have a bad angle

What Emma Prefers:

Chinese noodles or rice? Noodles

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

Mullet or Mutton Chops? Mullet

Team Edward or Team Jacob? Team Jacob

Shirts or Skins? Skins

Some of Emma's Favorite Things:

Root Beer

McChickens

Her dogs

A fierce 2001 Ford Escape

Bob's Burgers

What Emma is Looking for in a Man:

Someone who can support her financially, while she supports him physically

Someone who has the ability to lift her up like Baby in the last scene of Dirty Dancing

Someone who knows the difference between there, their, and they're.

Someone who will laugh at the Tweets she will DM you on Twitter

A heartbeat

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Help Find Emma A Boyfriend

She once was convinced she had Sleep apnea, but it turned out she just had Mono.

Emma's Physical Features:

Random Facts About Emma:

What Emma Prefers:

Some of Emma's Favorite Things:

What Emma is Looking for in a Man:

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The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1. The Family Traditions

2. Enough food for an actual army

3. Never enough space

4. Always Loud & Never Boring

5. Parties. Parties. Parties.

6. Scheduling

7. Travelling

8. The family members you see once a year

9. DRAMA

10. The questions about life

AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

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1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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