We may not all suffer from clinical depression, but depressive spells hit everyone. One mistake we make is believing that depression appears only one way or can be treated in only one way. That's not true. If you're ever in a funk and can't seem to shake it, here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. It is okay to cry.
Whoever started this whole "it's socially unacceptable to cry" thing is a bad person. And they are in a bad place. Crying is a natural bodily function and don't let anyone shame you out of doing it. If you feel you need to, let it out. Take a moment and full own spray! And when you're done, fix your face and carry on. You are no weaker a person for crying just like someone is no stronger a person for not crying.
2. Talk to someone.
Don't be afraid to share what's going on. Find someone you trust. Someone who will listen. Someone you know cares. You don't have to share more everything. Still, talking to others reminds us that we're not the only ones. Although we all have different lives and experiences, we connect through genuine emotion. Someone has felt what you've felt or been where you've been. You're not alone.
3. Write or draw.
As a writer, I use writing as an outlet for anything I'm feeling. It helps you see what's going on in your head on paper. The same with drawing. Thoughts can feel so big and complex until you capture them on paper. Whatever it is, just put it down! Don't judge it. Don't try to make it anything! Allow yourself to express whatever's going on in a completely unfiltered way. then, come back to it later when the feelings have settled to analyze it.
4. Move.
Take a walk, drive, exercise! Focus all your energy on something physical! This can help clear your mind and also keeps you healthy. Sometimes when something is worrying us, it is good to hone our energy somewhere else. It can be so easy to neglect a task as simple as movement when times are hard.
5. It's okay to be by yourself.
A hard pill to swallow is that: sometimes you'll have to go at it alone. You won't always have someone to talk to. You won't always have a shoulder to cry on. That's okay!! This doesn't mean that people don't care or that they don't love you! Everyone is capable of conquering a hard time by themselves. Believe it or not, you have the tools to heal. You can figure it out. Don't feel at a disadvantage if no one is in your corner.
6.There are bad things.
Another hard pill is: bad things will happen. Recovery isn't about never experiencing something bad. It's about gaining power of those negative experiences. When you lose a love one, if you go through a breakup, fail a test, get rejected from a job, it sucks! It doesn't do anyone any good pretending that sucky situations don't suck! And it prevents the process of recovery. Instead of always trying to stay happy, remember, one bad thing doesn't make a bad day. Twenty bad things doesn't make a bad day. Even if you are having a bad day or week or however long, there is always something to bring light. Eat some candy. Pet a puppy. Listen to your favorite song. Read a book. Smell a flower. Good things still exist in the middle of bad things.
7. Feel whatever you feel.
One mistake people make is that they think they're supposed to feel a certain way during a spell of depression. That's not true! And It's dangerous to ignore your emotions. If you're feeling some, unpack it. Even if it's just for a short amount of time. We all experience, process, grieve and heal differently. No feeling is wrong. No feeling is invalid. Once you understand that emotions come and go and stop apologizing for them, they're easier to overcome.
8. It takes practice.
GiphyOne of the best advice I've been given about recovery is that "It takes practice." No one recovers fully overnight. There is no time limit on feeling better. Sometimes we get caught up and kid ourselves into thinking we have to get over something in a certain amount of time. Truth is, it's a day to day thing. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Day one might be hard. Day five might be easy. Day thirty might be really hard. There will be times where you'll feel back at square one. This doesn't mean you haven't made progress. But, each day, you have to work and make decisions to get where you I be. Don't be afraid if you aren't there yet. Each day you'll look back and notice you're further than you were yesterday. Keep that in mind, and you'll make it through.
I hope this article helps someone out. Times get hard. Remember to smile and never give up the fight. Self-care is the most important type of care. We all deserve happiness and if something is preventing that happiness, we need to fight it. It's not always easy, but you and me, and anyone can make it!
** Please keep in mind that "depression" is a medically diagnosed mental condition. There is no shame in reaching out for professional help at any time**
